Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

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Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

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This section of the book deals with learning to know when and how to push through certain situations. We hold on to ideas that better resemble a middle school football coach’s ideal of toughness than reality. This section has a lot of good insight into having different ways to respond to situations and knowing which response is appropriate for which situation. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

It’s about making the right choice under stress, uncertainty, and fatigue—this requires emotional control. The section on the brain and the inner voices was helpful and something new I’ve walked away with from this book.My favorite quote from the first chapter that really sets up (and summarizes) the book: “Real toughness is experiencing discomfort or distress, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action. Really enjoyed the 3rd pillar, as i feel like i conquered being more present to my surrounding when i was in my college years, but have recently now have had more distractions and not embracing the feeling of the run. To create space so that you don’t jump straight from unease to the quickest possible solution, but to the [correct] one. In Do Hard Things, Magness teaches us how we can work with our body - how experiencing discomfort, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action can be the true indications of cultivating inner strength.

It’s time to move to a definition based on navigating discomfort by creating space to take thoughtful action. And I love a book that completely redefines concepts you previously disliked so you can see them in a much more positive light. Have high expectations so people have that necessary challenge for growth then offer support and nurture to help them get there. There are lots of additional approaches (Buddhism for example) that readers may want to explore in addition to the helpful ideas here. If you’re honest with yourself, and acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, what you’re capable of and what might scare you, then you can come to terms with what you’re facing and deal with it.What does a football player who learns to push himself only when a coach is screaming in his face do when it’s him alone on the field? When life feels like it’s spinning out of control, or like the task you have in front of you is insurmountable, it’s easy to default to hopelessness. Magness’s book helps us to see that by leaning into discomfort, anxiety and all the stressors that coming from trying to achieve difficult things we can learn to respond to things in ways that work successfully rather than instantly reacting and causing ourselves further stresses. Both Apple and Google state that they ensure that only users who have actually downloaded the app can submit a review.

Surprisingly I even liked his definition of toughness: “ Real toughness is experiencing discomfort or distress, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action.When they dug further, the expert meditators had a “greater ability to fully embrace the feeling of pain and … let go of the appraisal of what the pain meant to them. Those players had more technical fouls (an indicator of aggression) throughout the rest of their career. When we go in with bravado, it backfires because at the first inkling that we may not be able to succeed, our brain freaks out. The best critique I've come across of why "self-esteem culture"/empty praise doesn't produce results.



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