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To Whatever End

To Whatever End

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Hey! Wake up!” Junhui called in a loud voice for the second time and after some seconds, the door opened presenting a newly-bath Wonwoo with a bath sheet in the lower part of his body that revealed Wonwoo’s composed and buff body. Some water drops are still present in his chest. Junhui started swallowing the lump forming in his throat. Junhui gets the tray that was delivered to them by his mother earlier for their lunch. “Eat, so you can take your medicine again.” No worries. She’s in the house and now waiting for you.” The guy grinned and took Wonwoo. “We’ll be going.” He proceeded. Hiding and pretending became a usual habit for him and distancing himself is almost an envelope with it. He also became more conscious when they’re sleeping together. They've been doing this for almost 5 years now and even him, has no idea why he became sentient and he hates it because it limits him to enjoy Wonwoo’s company. Whenever the younger one is hugging him, his heart beats faster.

And a hard pang hit Junhui’s chest. What’s that? His heartbeat went faster than before. He doesn’t know why. He has no idea why and what’s the meaning of it. Junhui was speechless. Hurt? Scared? Or let’s just say, Wonwoo has a point that it made him feel that the love he has for Wonwoo is invalid. Because what if? What if Wonwoo fell in love, took the risk and then they broke up? It’s complicated.

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What do they know about love? They’re still clumsy young stubborn boys who cry whenever their toys aren't bought by their parents. They are still the ones who will ring their neighbor’s doorbell and will run fast. Young scared cats that will pretend they can do recitation in the class but sweats are covering their whole body. They still fight against each other with some bosh things. Junhui just gave him a questionable face and Wonwoo grinned when a guy popped up before them. With his kinky eyes, wide smile and pointed nose, Junhui could tell that he’s so fine and everyone will fall for him. He’s smaller than Junhui and Wonwoo but not that short. The guy also has a good body that everyone will simp over it and Junhui can notice that he is way younger than them. He’s new to Junhui’s eyes so he wasn’t able to greet the guy. But he is nervous without a concrete reason. Finish that and go to your room to do your homework. You’ll not go outside until you’re done. Stay in your room.” Her loud mother told him and began to clean the things she used in treating her son’s gashes before grabbing his small pouch. Liar.” He heard Wonwoo who was drinking his milk in own gulp. Junhui remained silent. “You don't want Chan for me?” But that doesn’t work for everyone. It still depends. Just do whatever you think will work and the best for both. In our case, we realized that we are destined to be best friends and not lovers.” Seungcheol added to Jihoon’s explanation. Junhui nodded.

Why is it hard to love? Why is love always accompanied by grief? Why should someone sacrifice? Can't they just be happy while in love? No, because love is enveloped with pain and they both hate it. But they’re just victims of love, and cannot do anything but to accept it. And that made Junhui feel another pounding in his chest. He was surprised at first and then he gave Wonwoo an assured smile. “I will.” They also ate together and enjoyed different performances prepared by the student council. Indeed, it was a night to remember for everyone who will leave the university and will face the real battle of life.Wonwoo honestly didn't know when it started, but he confirmed the feelings he has for his best friend when he felt afraid whenever Junhui was not with him, when he wants to be taken care of his best friend, when his day is not complete without seeing him, and when Junhui avoided him little by little. That time, he knew it was Junhui all along. That time, he wants to be with Junhui. And that time, he knew he loved his best friend more than the usual love felt by best friends. Junhui gander at him while leaning against the headboard of the bed. “Theater Club president?” Junhui asked Wonwoo, confirming if he’s right. They entered the same high school, of course they will and this time, Junhui took the responsibility of taking care of Wonwoo emotionally and for other aspects if he needs to. He doesn’t know how Wonwoo feels losing his parents but he knows it’s extremely hard. He will take care of his best friend just like how Wonwoo took care of him before.

Can I have this dance?” Wonwoo offered his right hand to Junhui and the butterflies in the latter’s stomach began to play again, heart pounding because of the unexplainable feeling he had at the very moment. I bet, auntie cooked this.” He heard Wonwoo one night saying this while eating一trying to tease him. It’s 11 PM and Junhui is aware how Wonwoo works hard in synchronizing his studies and jobs. He noticed that Wonwoo became thin一paler than before. Junhui worried so much. No, he’s not mad at Wonwoo nor at Chan. The latter is like an angel and he knew he was kind for giving him a genuine smile every time their eyes met. Junhui can also sense that Chan is collecting his courage to start a talk between them. Chan.” A tear freed from his left eye. Nothing compares to the pain in his heart. It was complicated. He is slowly losing Junhui and now, there's a big possibility that Chan will also leave.Uh, hi.” He answered and he was thankful that lights inside the hall are dim and he is wearing a mask to avoid others to notice how red his cheeks are.

For almost 5 hours, Junhui wasn’t able to sleep or even take a nap because he’s worried what might happen to Wonwoo and he wants Wonwoo to wake up with someone who can guide him.

The moment he went inside his room, Wonwoo grabbed his bag and dished the books he needed in doing his assignment and a sudden flash of the melee earlier occurred in his head. It was unclear and involute but a scared and cunning face is vivid in his memory. The boy he saved from the bullies. He wondered if he’s fine because he really looked petrified during the unprecedented event. It’s a new face for him, he encountered him for the first time. The hall was filled with sounds that are not Wonwoo’s thing so maybe the reason why he didn’t come is because of the loud noise, that Junhui thought.



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