Although describing it as “your villain era” is a bit much, it’s true. Being the “villain” allows us to establish boundaries, prevent others from pushing us too far and, most importantly, it gives us an outlet to express all of our emotions, regardless of whether they’re positive. When a person is nothing but sweet and happy, it makes it easy for people to overstep boundaries and ask for things they usually wouldn’t because they wouldn’t be denied. The “villain era” wave is, at its core, women fed up with social constraints of how they are expected to behave in the workplace, relationships, and life. So many of us are terrified of setting boundaries in our lives because we’re used to being people-pleasing doormats. We’re scared that the people closest to us will view us setting boundaries as harsh, mean, and unloving.

I grew up with the sayings “treat others the way you would like to be treated” and “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” on repeat in my head like a summer hit on the radio. These are nice and important words to live by, and they have even helped me maneuver out of tense situations and make new friends. The “villain era” is a phenomenon that’s swept the internet. Though negative sounding, a person in this stage of their life is not committing misdemeanors. The term has many connotations, all pertaining to mental health and meaning someone who has decided to prioritize their own being. What does ‘villain era’ mean?As @padzdey explains, there is nothing malicious about the expression; it’s all about setting up, for the first time in most cases, self-protective boundaries.

This is a difficult move to make especially if your long time relationships are toxic. Removing people from your life will make you look like the villain. Poor priorities. It’s been a long time since you were the main priority in your life. You have lost sight of the fact that when you are truly healthy and happy, you become the best version of yourself and the quality of your life will improve. And finally, to fully embrace villain-era dressing, you have to lean into the ethos of genuinely caring what other people think of you. No, it’s not a hall pass to like not be accountable for your actions, but instead, it’s the freedom to release the pressure to keep up with it all. Forget the 10-step skincare routine. Forget feeling the pressure of virtual signaling and just grieve. Your villain era is releasing all of that and embracing the beautiful mess of life right now. The Tardis crash-landed on this year’s Children in Need BBC show and never has a seemingly throwaway skit achieved more in its five-minute running time. This special “minisode” not only promised much for Doctor Who’s bold new era (which starts on Saturday 25 November on BBC One at 6.30pm), it also enabled the show to right some wrongs from its 60-year past. Well, even those dastardly Daleks need reparations occasionally.Upon first glance at this post, you might think that the villain era means a period of your life where you are an actual villain. Where you’re unkind to the people around you. I want to be very clear when I say that is not what the villain era is about. When we talk about a villain era, we’re not talking about hurting people, or engaging in activities that are harmful. We’re talking about cutting out the people-pleasing and other niceties we’ve been conditioned to perform (even when people don’t deserve it). It’s about putting yourself first and cutting out toxicity unapologetically–no matter how selfish others perceive it to be. Because, in reality, the villains are the true main characters of any movie. Right?

The sooner you’re you, the sooner you will find people that are looking for you. Why are you trying to fit yourself into spaces you’ve outgrown? Why are you trying to force relationships with people that aren’t treating you with reciprocal love and respect? You want everyone to be happy with you and you are afraid of conflict so you go along to get along. In most T.V. shows, books, or movies, the main character is our beloved protagonist. The hero. The one that we’re rooting for, all the way through. In a blog post by Abby Birk of Riverbank Therapy, the licensed therapist pens plans for how to “embrace your own parts that others have deemed villainous to their own oppressive agendas.” She also gives insight on why we choose to people please, and advice on how to integrate the “villain era” into work life, partnerships, familial relationships, and more.

What is Villain Era on TikTok?

It’s time to take a hard look at your priorities. Do they support your dream life? Do your priorities promote a healthy, happy life for you?

Some of the steps in Bulloch’s process are implementing boundaries, rejuvenating aesthetics, and “getting your sh*t together.” The actions under these steps include taking a look in your life at who drains you and uplifting yourself with “aesthetics” such as drinking from fancy cups without reason. The villain era is not the first time TikTok has spawned a trend that encourages young people to try a drastic change in their self-view. “ Main character energy” was the suggestion that people view themselves as the hero of their own story; the main character . The Villain era asks girls to go easy on themselves and pushes the agenda of self-preservation. If you share your perspective with kindness and empathy, maybe people will actually understand it. I know, it can be emotionally draining to say yes to every Saturday night plan. But what’s scarier for people-pleasers is to be viewed as a “spoilsport”, “too reserved”, or hearing, “Man, you’re ruining the vibe” – a sort of torment for someone who isn’t exactly on board with these plans but struggle to say no and draw boundaries. ENTERING THE ERA Returning showrunner Russell T Davies has long felt uneasy about how Davros, embittered creator of the Daleks, played into the dated “disabled or disfigured villain” trope. The power-crazed scientist from planet Skaro was heavily scarred and confined to a glorified space wheelchair. A generation of young viewers hid behind sofas, terrified by the raspy-voiced, walnut-faced villain. What if my mentality was the only reason the people in my life stayed? And what if establishing boundaries and welcoming honesty cause the people I love most to turn away?Dark Feminine Energy. Becoming the Villain is one of the ways you can start channeling your dark feminine energy. I have a post about The Dark Feminine in case you want to learn more. Set Boundaries Since they were a mutated form of the Kaled race, anagrammatic options included “Lekad”, “Adlek”, “Klade” and “Edlka”. It was like an intergalactic game of Wordle. Naturally, an unimpressed Davros waved away these suggestions. When the Doctor realised in horror that he’d broken off his arch enemy’s “multi-clawed adaptable arm”, he hastily replaced it with a toilet plunger. However, with a few relationships of unrequited effort — and several other tasks to complete because I refuse to say no — I can’t help myself from thinking: Trying to be nice all of the time has really screwed me over.