Of course it is also possible to divide the two poles in a relationship, with one person taking over the receiving part and the other the giving part. To feel happy, these two people will then always need the other, which can lead to a dependency. We will experience our lives and our sexuality more intensively and with more confidence if we allow both these poles to melt within ourselves. In this way, we are independent in all ways, including in our sexuality. We experience the full breadth of our emotions and are more flexible and balanced in our actions. Yoni massage is not simply a hands-on technique but involves the conscious direction of energy throughout the body through deep breathing and visualization. It provides women the ability to cleanse and energetically stimulate the chakras as well as achieve emotional healing by releasing the traumatic pain that often becomes seated in the yoni. The author explains that the relegation of this important spiritual and energetic center to a “private part” hinders the process of enlightenment. Once women are able to be in touch with their yoni energy, their connection to the entire web of life is restored. What we can discover on this journey is the flower of our femininity and the power of our independence. A woman who knows her yoni knows her desires and is able to communicate them clearly. This self-awareness and confidence find expression in all other parts of her life and are transferred to her entire being. Many people stop after the discussion of anatomy and don’t give much further thought to the subject of sexuality, but the sweetest experience of female sexuality can be found only by leaving the usual paths and diving into the depths of female sensation that are neither visible nor concretely touchable. This world opens itself to us as soon as we close our eyes and direct our attention inside ourselves. When we experience a feeling, for example caused by the stimulation of our clitoris, we can recognize the feeling and either observe it from the outside or actually become the feeling. All of us know the difference between these two. We can be happy about a birthday present and perceive this feeling as happiness, or we can be entirely swept up and thus become the happiness ourselves. Our heart opens up, our breathing deepens, our eyes glow, and when we walk out on the street, we encounter lots of friendly people. The bus driver says a friendly hello, the neighbor does us a favor, and the flower shop gives us a rose as a present. We embody this happiness so much that it affects those around us.

Women need to develop a new loving relationship with their yoni and learn to receive without giving. It is important that women can release negative emotions and develop a relationship with their body where the yoni is touched with unconditional love and care, without any expectations of arousal or orgasm or of having to give. Indeed one of the hardest things for a woman is to learn receive pleasure and to surrender without fear.Yoni massage is not simply a hands-on technique but involves the conscious direction of energy throughout the body through deep breathing and visualization. It provides women the ability to cleanse and energetically stimulate the chakras as well as achieve emotional healing by releasing the traumatic pain that often becomes seated in the yoni. The author explains that the relegation of this important spiritual and energetic center to a “private part” hinders the process of enlightenment. Once women are able to be in touch with their yoni energy, their connection to the entire web of life is restored to its rightful place. Before going into the individual phases and steps of yoni massage, it is important to look at the many layers of the female genitalia. First, we have to understand where we will find what—what happens when I open the outer labia; where will I find the clitoris pearl with its hood; what do the inner labia cover? Where do I find the urethra? Where is the opening of the vagina and that of the anus, and what exactly lies between the two? These questions may seem obvious to some, but I continue to encounter women who are surprised to learn that urine does not come from the vaginal opening but from the opening of the urethra above it, which is pin-sized and leads to the bladder. Long held inhibitions in the West about sexuality and the shame and guilt associated with the genitals and sexual zones of the body have created deeply rooted barriers that prevent many women from fully expressing themselves. Authentic Yoni Massage and Tantra practices can help women to overcome these barriers and reconnect to their innermost core and tap into the restorative, energizing and healing sexual energy. While I had been searching up until then for meaningful work, this experience immediately made clear to me what my calling was. Since then, I have explored the yoni in many ways—by myself, and together with other people who share my urge to learn more about the healing dimensions and strength of our sexuality. In 1997, I met the shaman teacher Maraya Haenen, who deeply affected my life and thinking. With Maraya’s guidance I immersed myself in the spiritual aspects of sexuality and tantra, which became the foundations of this book. Female sexuality is an indefinite space that becomes bigger, more intense, and more pleasurable the more we experience it in a protected space. Respect and attention are keys to appreciating the many facets of the yoni and receiving its gifts of fulfillment and joy.

This book is intended to support women in adding more vitality, healing, and desire to their lives, and in opening the way to a new understanding of their femininity. For men, it is an invitation to learn more about the female mystery and to develop a better understanding of it. I sincerely hope that my book offers knowledge and inspiration to its readers, both male and female. I hope that it will provide the seed for valuable and healing experiences and contribute to people experiencing their relationships and sexuality as a source of internal riches. Where love resides, there is no longer space for violence. I’m Mal Weeraratne – Certified Tantra Educator teaching intimacy; Tantra and all forms of sacred sensuality to facilitate journeys into love, intimacy, and sacred sexuality as well as personal transformation leading to spirituality. My teachings can help both men and women to overcome sexual problems, regain feminine empowerment and male consciousness and in all areas of sexuality and female embodiment. Maybe a friend mentioned my name or you stumbled upon my work online. Whatever path you took, I'm happy that you are here.

MICHAELA RIEDL studied tantric massage at the Diamond Lotus Institute in Berlin and then refined the yoni and lingam massage techniques developed by Annie Sprinkle and Joseph Kramer, founder of the Erospirit Research Institute in California. She directs the AnandaWave Massage Center in Cologne, Germany, which offers workshops in tantric massage as well as seminars and counseling for experiencing sexuality in a healing way. In a loving, passionate, dedicated yoni massage, we are aiming to awaken, activate and bring deep, life-changing pleasure to the vagina and a woman’s overall sexual being.