I think grieving and how best to support friends is something we don't always do well in our country (I may be wrong). People have said sometimes they feel awkward/don't know what to say, so say nothing. Because it’s circumstantial – as in, the depression has set in because they don’t have a job – they might just need that extra boost to turn their jobhunt into a success. When mine started I would change the tone of my voice and say that it was not acceptable behaviour. I'd tell her I was going to count to 5 and she would stop/ do what I asked or there would be a consequence. Always told her the consequence - you will have the toy taken away until tomorrow/ you will go to bed / I will not read you a bedtime story etc. Obviously when a parent loses their job, they’re the one who has to cope. It’s not, as it always has been, about you this time, so you’re going to have to step up and be an adult for once, all right?

If letting her read isn't working, then how about audiobooks? She can lie with the light off and listen to those with her eyes closed and she may find it easier to relax and doze off when the pressure's off - even if it's much later than you'd like, although I wouldn't worry about that too much actually. Another idea might to be also get her one of those lamps that gradually fades down like the sun setting over a long period, so she can stay in bed listening to a book or reading or even playing quietly with some small toys (a couple of dolls or action figures, or a puzzle or something) while the light gradually changes and helps her wind down. The mommy tantrum is real. And most of us have had one (or two, or three). We’ve all lost it at some point, and it’s really okay, as long as no one gets hurt. That anger, when we lose control, is the flipside of our loving mommy fierceness. Harnessing that passion and energy is what helps us protect our children. Sorry to say, the guilt never truly goes away when we lose our cool. But we must remember that we are human. And humans can only take so much. My idle threat fell on deaf ears as I continued home with the miniature tyrants screaming that they wanted to swim. I tried to text my husband to calm me down but he was in a meeting and couldn’t respond.

lose (one's) shit

When mine was being really vile I would leave the room. I remember saying things like I am not prepared to listen to your screaming at me. I am going to have a cup of tea and you can tell me when you've calmed down. Anyway my DD will NOT play by herself, not for 5 mins, I have to play and it's always the same tedious game of 'babies' I get the paint out and we do that, she lasts 2 mins covers the place in paint then gives up, the same with baking, drawing, lego, trains etc My sister and I weren’t exactly princesses to my dad [Bernie Ecclestone, businessman and former chief executive of Formula One], but he was soft. If my mum was screaming about something, we would always look to Dad to calm her down. Whenever I have needed him – any bad breakup, any advice, anything – he has always been there. A lot of people think of him as completely emotionless, but he’s not like that. As soon as bedtime rolls around, they start to ignore me. They go from calm to utterly hyper. It’s like herding cats to get their bedtime routine done and the pair of them into bed. The eldest just carries on, wanders about, ignores me if I ask her to get into her bed (even if just to read).

When she throws food on the floor/ wets herself try and stay calm but make sure she knows she does not get to do anything else until she has helped you to clear up. My 'best friend' is the exception to this, I feel I could ring her whenever I need to. We speak every few weeks and it's great. But the fact that all my other friends seem to have discarded me a bit is making it hard to connect with anyone tbh. I feel embarrassed, like nobody wants me around/ can be bothered with me.

One of my favourite bloggers, Matt Coyne from Man vs Baby, never fails to make me laugh. I’m a bit of an awkward fan girl if anything, and he’s only seen me steaming drunk so he probably thinks I’m very strange. Not far wrong to be fair. When a parent is prone to toxicity, they often have a Rolodex of biting phrases that come out on a regular basis. Things like “why don’t you just grow up” or “I never said that” might ring a bell. And if it truly is an ongoing problem, it can start to affect your relationship with them as well as how you feel about yourself. Remember when mom lost her shit that time you spilled your milkshake all over the couch?!” your adult children may someday lament with a giggle, remembering the incident well, and thank god they think it’s funny now, because it wasn’t funny then. At least, it wasn’t funny for you.

Afterward, you beat yourself up about it — because you’re not supposed to get that mad. You’re supposed to maintain grace and stability at all times. When you’re a mommy, you are supposed to keep your cool. One of my biggest parenting fears has always been that I will royally screw up my kids. They are relatively defenseless, and I have always been concerned with sending them straight to the therapist couch. One day though, I had the kind of day my kids will definitely, at some point, relive in a therapist’s office. As someone who was unemployed for a year, I can attest to the fact that this is the most annoying thing ever. Mainly because it implies you’re not job hunting well enough (an unemployed-against-their-will-person’s confidence is usually pretty low) and also they’re always invariably unsuitable because only you can tell the jobs that you want to apply for. Ive lost my appetite, I feel guilty for not letting it go and just eating the damn pasta. I know I shouldn’t talk about myself like this but I feel stupid for not keeping my mouth shut. I fear this will continue the rest of the week. She told me not to cook for her ever again, tomorrow night the dinner dilemma will continue. I slept really well as a baby, then got to the age of about five and seemingly turned into an insomniac overnight. I'm 46 now and my mum still reminisces about my weird sleep issues.Sometimes toxic comments go beyond words. If your mom lets out a long sigh or a guttural noise when you try to talk to her, Pinsly says it could be her way of showing that “you’ve let her down.” If it happens regularly, it can start to feel toxic, especially if your mom does it as a way to make you give in and meet her needs. Regardless of what happens, though, there are ways you can make everything a whole lot nicer. I spoke to a bunch of girls whose parents have either been made redundant, or lost their job, to see how they coped and what they did to make their parent’s lives at that point a little less shitter... Wine and chocolate is a classic when it comes to Mother’s Day presents, and for a reason. This luxury personalised gift hamper from Farrar and Tanner contains a bottle of very decent Calvet Chateauneuf-du-Pape, a jar of exceedingly moreish chocolate almonds and some gorgeous stem ginger.

You kids are driving me to drink!” she bellowed, moaning as if in physical pain. Then she marched through the garage with a purpose I had never seen before. We kids scattered like mice. If you’re not sure what art they’d like, then you can create a memory book with pictures of family, friends and memories is a great alternative. A new bag I’ll never forget the time my mother had a complete conniption over a small Styrofoam cooler. When my brother, sister, and I talk about it, we laugh uncontrollably. During the storytelling, my mom closes her eyes, still visibly upset with herself over losing her composure. But, damn, that story is funny. Especially considering my mum is well-liked, and didn’t reportedly punch a producer over a dispute about catering.When she stopped/calmed down and said sorry I would always tell her a line was drawn under it/ that was the end of it and have a big hug/say I love her. I feel embarrassed, like none of these people care a jot about me and more fool me for even thinking to share the news my mum had died. It's making me feel uncertain in terms of every friendship now. Although it’s a fine line, a toxic relationship isn’t always synonymous with emotional abuse, which can also come out in the words your mom uses. "A toxic relationship is a dynamic between two or more people where emotional needs generally go unmet because of issues that have nothing to do with the other person," Danielle Forshee, Psy.D, L.C.S.W., tells Bustle. While toxicity can be tough to spot, it often comes down to how another person makes you feel. “The word ‘toxic’ in terms of a relationship means that one person’s behavior leads to serious negative emotional consequences for the other person,” says Elliot Pinsly, LMSW, a licensed clinical social worker. Whether it’s intentional or subconscious, “a toxic person tends to be controlling, demanding, manipulative, demeaning, and/or self-centered,” he says. And it can leave you feeling down, or as if your self-esteem has taken a hit.