Elliot, Bella and Susie need her, in surprisingly similar ways. They sound alike too, their language limpid and eerie, a queasy wellness blend of psychoanalysis and internet niceness that has them speak of transitional objects, optimisation, flow, authenticity, containment. The book as a whole made me think about how much we want to talk about ourselves, and how basic our resources are. It doesn’t have a particular thesis on online selfhood, though – it’s all in the telling, which is gripping and subtle. Small pieces of information are drip fed to the reader, each moment viewed and reviewed across the different narratives. It feels fizzy, with all these pops of observation on the move. This novel explores these and related concerns, as the life of our unnamed narrator intersects with a man she begins a relationship with, her colleague at work, and her mother. They each see different version of her, and want different things from her, in their lives. Three woman who join together to rent a large space along the beach in Los Angeles for their stores—a gift shop, a bakery, and a bookstore—become fast friends as they each experience the highs, and lows, of love. AM: Perhaps what I wanted to think about is that at first, it does seem like a really empowering thing that she’s doing, that she’s been able to separate herself out from the things that have been really damaging to her and that she’s been able to rebuild herself. She is becoming this huge, extremely strong, healthy person, all seems really liberating. She gets so fixated on it that it comes at the cost of everything around her and then it starts to feel unhealthy. But it’s hard to say exactly where that tipping point is.

Walking to the gym, I felt queasy, worse than if I hadn’t eaten anything. I paced up and down the car park. I took deep breaths and my stomach growled. When I got to reception, there was a new kid on the desk.When I first read the blurb, it reminded me of The Vegetarian: the outside POVs and a woman who doesn’t conform to society. After reading it, I’d say that’s where the similarities end. This is a wholly unique story.

Internet is performative. Have to be seen to say the right thing. Difficult to show solidarity with someone different. We never get the woman's own perspective - I can see why the author approached the narrative in this way but it did frustrate me as a reader at times. This is a hard novel to describe or summarise, and it left me feeling unsettled on finishing... although not necessarily in a bad way. Consider the above question in light of what Susie says here. Although some ask about Nicola's friends and family and wonder where the children are, many are moved by her presence, her strength, her stillness – her inner power.A book begging to be read on the beach, with the sun warming the sand and salt in the air: pure escapism.

They all watch as she strengthens her body and mind and begins to post viral videos that advocate for her viewers to take drastic measures to acquire true self-sufficiency. Elliot is the first narrator. “At the point that we meet Elliot, he is meeting her,” says Metcalfe. “So, as a reader, and for me as a writer, I got to look at her from the outside before I knew anything about her, as Elliot does.” AM: It’s very liberating. It made me start to wonder: What are the good responsibilities? And what are the bad ones? There’s a great Toni Morrison quote about how “Freedom is choosing your responsibility. It’s not having no responsibilities; it’s choosing the ones you want.” I thought a lot about that idea of what freedom is, if freedom requires the abandonment of social convention, if it requires to be free of the kind of complexity and nuance and messiness of interpersonal relationships or if freedom has to exist positively within some of that, you just have to be able to choose for yourself.

Success!

I also thought a lot about the necessity of performing some sort of victimhood in the face of trauma in that it is almost required, I think, that someone might appear damaged or might perform their victimhood in a way that makes their trauma legible to others. Here, we have a protagonist who has experienced trauma, but is refusing to perform any kind of victimhood. She only really offers us tiny moments where she’s willing to exhibit vulnerability.