Mitchell, M. E., Bartholomew, K., & Cobb, R. J. (2014). Need fulfillment in polyamorous relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 51(3), 329–339. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2012.742998 Balzarini, R. N., et al. (2017). Perceptions of primary and secondary relationships in polyamory. PLoS ONE, 12(5), e0177841. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone0177841 Fraley, R. C. (2019). Attachment in adulthood: Recent developments, emerging debates, and future directions. Annual Review of Psychology, 70(1), 401–422. Gusmano, B. (2019). The kintsugi art of care: Unraveling consent in ethical non-monogamies. Sociological Research Online, 24(4), 661–679. https://doi.org/10.1177/1360780418816103 Erstens, ist es sehr logisch aufgebaut – Part 1 fängt mit einer Einführung in die Bindungstheorie an und bringt selbst jemanden, der sich gar nicht mit der Materie auskennt, auf den neuesten Stand der Wissenschaft; es enthält auch sehr pointierte Beschreibungen mit Hilfe derer man seinen eigenen Bindungstypen bzw. den seiner Partner/innen erkennen kann. Part 2 führt den Leser dann in das Thema von Consensual Nonmonogamy, Trauma und Bindung bzw. wie sich die einander schneiden ein. Part 3 ist dann praktisch und befasst sich mit konkreten Strategien, wie man gemeinsam mit seinem Partner als auch mit sich selbst daran arbeiten kann, eine gesunde Beziehung mit seinem Partner bzw. sich selbst aufbauen kann.

Blakely, T. J., & Dziodosz, G. M. (2015). Application of attachment theory in clinical social work. Health and Social Work, 40(4), 283–289. I wish I'd read this at high school. I wish all my friends had read this at high school. It would have saved us a lot of pain — the pain we dealt to others, the pain others dealt to us, and the pain we dealt to ourselves.Jessica Fern geht sehr wissenschaftlich vor (LOVE IT!). Erst erklärt sie Bowlbys Bindungstypen - da musste ich bereits weinen, weil das zu viel Reflexion über eigene Kindheitstraumata auf einmal war (hat sich aber gelohnt). Erst nach der Hälfte des Buches kommt es zum Thema Polyamorie und welche Probleme die jeweiligen Bindungstypen evtl. in zwischenmenschlichen Beziehungen haben können. Zwischendurch gibt es auch immer Selbstreflexionsfragen, die man auch gut mit Partner*in gemeinsam beantworten kann. Als letztes werden noch einige Methoden vorgestellt, wie man seine Bindungen stärken kann.

Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524. Sheff, E. (2005). Polyamorous women, sexual subjectivity and power. Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, 34(3), 251–283.Mikulincer, M. (1998). Attachment working models and the sense of trust: An exploration of interaction goals and affect regulation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1209–1224. In light of Fern’s book, it was funny for me to re-read the part of my journal that covers the time when I pair-bonded with my other partner Angela, with whom I’ve also developed an attachment. In my recording of events, I was watching Michelle watching me watching Angela. What I was really watching, I realized on reading Polysecure, was our attachment: As I opened myself to feeling connected and secure with Angela, I didn’t want to damage the attachment I had with Michelle.

Bairstow, A. (2017). Couples exploring nonmonogamy: Guidelines for therapists. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 43(4), 343–353. I found so much value I'll probably dwell a bit longer on each chapter, and I'll definitely go through a re-read over my next relationship.

What happens when the same societal structures that grant men superiority also deny them the full range of human emotions and threaten their status as men if they experience even the slightest form of sensitivity, vulnerability or indication of their needs for love, emotional safety and tenderness (basically, if men admit to having any attachment needs at all)?" Not every relationship can develop a sense of attachment, as I discovered that day with my friend. Almost by definition, it’s rare to find someone to serve as your secure base and safe haven. “This happens when our partners care about our safety, seek and respond to our distress, help us to co-regulate and soothe, and are a source of emotional and physical comfort,” writes therapist Jessica Fern in her recent book, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. As the title suggests, I read this book because I've been curious about non-monagamy and saw that Polysecure is meant to be relevant for all romantic / sexual relationships. And it is! In many ways it’s an advice and self-help type of book, but given from the experience of a practicing polyamorous therapist.