And for sure, there are some problematic situations where “getting out of there” is clearly the best solution for example, when your building is on fire! On the other hand, if neither of you do any work if you both choose option 3 then your relationship’s sure to go from bad to worse. But if you think of love merely as an emotion or feeling, then it can never last for long because all feelings and emotions continually change.

This book has taught me the power of breathing, especially during arguments, giving room to my feelings, acknowledging my thoughts, and learning to observe instead of react. I was looking for new ideas for helping people in the workplace to resolve their interpersonal problems, and this book was one of those Beverley Harper included in her recommended book list at the end of the CCBH Diploma course. Understanding the nature of the human heart as well as the science of human behavior is critical if you are going to live with love and allow your life to flourish. In response, the child becomes emotionally distant, comes to expect that their needs won’t be met, and often gives up trying.And because your early relationships were different than your partner’s, you both came into this relationship with very different “ blueprints,” which give rise to differing ideas and expectations. It’s not uncommon for people to spend huge chunks of their day, completely lost in their thoughts, endlessly debating all the pros and cons of staying in or leaving their relationship. The more importance we place on avoiding unpleasant feelings in life, the more our life tends to go downhill. The Happiness Trap is an international bestseller, with over a million copies sold worldwide and editions published in over thirty languages.

And as for those relationships that do last, many are less than satisfactory: full of emptiness, loneliness, and misery. So good , in fact, that when the honeymoon phase ends, many people break up with their partners, reasoning, “I don’t feel in love anymore, so clearly this is not the right partner for me. But you can learn new skills to take the power and impact out of all of those painful thoughts and feelings; to “ unhook ” yourself from them, so they can’t bring you down, overwhelm you, or jerk you around.My aim in this book is to help you create the best relationship you possibly can one in which you treat each other with love, kindness, and consideration, make peace with your differences, appreciate what you each have to offer, handle your emotions more effectively, support each other to thrive and learn and grow, and make the most of the time you spend together. You’ll learn how to have deep, intimate moments with your partner; how to deal with conflict without destroying the relationship; how to handle those long lasting differences; and how to love and be loved. Dr Russ Harris is world-renowned trainer in ACT, a therapist and a coach, with a background in medicine (as a general practitioner).