The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want: A Simple Plan to Stop People ... Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

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The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want: A Simple Plan to Stop People ... Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want: A Simple Plan to Stop People ... Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

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Each file contains details of the event, such as what happened, how we and others responded, and sensory information from the environment. Encasing those details is the emotion associated with them. And this is every event, and although we don’t remember most, our nervous systems do. We learn early on that it’s critical to please your parents and caregivers in whatever form that takes because, well, they “know best” and we depend on them for survival and love. Work hard at school. Be the best. If you’re not the best, be good. Live our dreams, make us proud, don’t embarrass us with the neighbors. Be seen and not heard, keep your feelings to yourself. Stop being so sensitive. Work hard and you will get the grades. Be good and you’ll receive praise, peace, friendship, and relationships, and avoid undesirable outcomes. Do the things we expect of you. Let that relative hug you even though you’re clearly uncomfortable because you will offend them if you don’t. Be “nice” so you’re not seen as aggressive. Be “good” so people don’t think you’re slutty and ruin our reputation. Do you see those things we don’t like about those other people? Don’t do that. When you get the grades, you’ll get into university or get a job. From there, you’ll get the money, the home, the relationship, and the kids. Basically, be good and you will be a success. You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage pleasantly, smilingly, and non-apologetically – to say no to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger yes burning inside.” Stephen Covey Even though I might disguise, suppress, and repress it, I often feel resentful, obliged, overwhelmed, guilty, anxious, overloaded, drained, exhausted, low, helpless, powerless, or victimized.

The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue eBook | Perlego [PDF] The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue eBook | Perlego

The Age of Obedience didn’t teach nuance; it taught unconditional compliance. Specifically, it taught the criticalness of obeying anybody with authority over you, which in childhood, is anyone whom you perceived to have power over you. This meant that we learned about “stranger danger” in the form of a kidnapper or creepy figure with a bag of candy, but no one explained that thanks to all our obedience training, not only could strangers invoke the same fear, guilt, and compliance as loved ones, but also that often the people we needed danger awareness about were people whom we automatically trusted and revered because of their status and profession, such as priests, teachers, police officers, family friends, and extended family. The Joy Of Saying No" will be an excellent book for those people who tend to please others a lot, each with their different reasons. Although I'm not the target audience, I chose to read this book because I was curious about what people pleasers who have a hard time saying no think. selectedStore.City }}, {{ selectedStore.State }} {{ selectedStore.Country }} {{ selectedStore.Zip }} The Age of Obedience also reinforced the misconception and illusion that compliance is the route to being a Good Person and that complying in and of itself is always a good thing. We’ve been socialized and conditioned to believe that the world is a meritocracy environment that rewards the version of goodness we ascribe to, and what we’ve experienced is that this isn’t true. So many of us struggle with feelings of abandonment, rejection, feeling not good enough, and people pleasing with emotionally unavailable and shady folks. We’ve been scared of boundaries, expressing our needs, being less than perfect, and becoming more of who we are, and so we settle for crumbs and abandon and hurt ourselves in the process.

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I work with clients who are deeply perplexed by how working with someone has unsettled them into uncharacteristic behavior or deep anxiety. Every single time the person in question bears some similarity to a parent, caregiver, sibling, or another significant person from their childhood. Title: The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Plea… The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Plea…

So although anyone can be a people pleaser, women are more likely to be simply because, thanks to patriarchy, men are less likely to be penalized for asserting themselves in even the most basic of ways, whereas many sections of society still frown upon women doing the same.Normally I’d feel anxious about saying no to an “authority” and appearing “difficult,” but this feeling was absent. Fear of dying by age forty far outweighed the potential discomfort I tended to sense in others when I so much as contemplated saying no, never mind verbalizing or showing it. It hit me that no one was coming to save me. It was my responsibility to make decisions and take care of myself. Saying No is defined as disagreeing or not to accept something. Most people feel constrained to consent to every request , and would preferably juggle a million occupations than decline to help, regardless of whether they are left with no time for them selves. Therefore , learning how to s ay no can earn you some respect from yourself and people around you. S trangely, the capacity to say no is firmly connected to fearlessness. Individuals with low self-assurance and confidence regularly feel anxious about irritating others and tend to rate others ’ needs more exceptionally than their own . May these Quotes On Saying No inspire you to decline to life clutters so that you can accept self-respect to achieve your dreams.

The Joy of Saying No | Natalie Lue | download on Z-Library The Joy of Saying No | Natalie Lue | download on Z-Library

When my father was diagnosed with bowel cancer in June 2016 after our being estranged for four years, everything I’d learned helped us have a beautiful, forgiving relationship in his final ten months. Afterward, as I wrestled with grief, turning forty, and feeling lost, yet again, no came to the rescue, allowing me to experience so much unexpected joy and bringing me to a place where I’m the most me I’ve ever been.Sometimes no is the kindest word.” Vironika Tugaleva 20. “You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” Lori Deschene



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