Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
FREE Shipping
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- Brand: Unbranded
Description
After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Although she had stopped drinking and using drugs, she found herself sinking in despair. She discovered that her husband wasn’t sober; he’d been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage. Now, another five years later, I've been asked to write an anniversary preface to a book that has sold over two million copies. Codependents make great employees. They don’t complain; they do more than their share; they do whatever is asked of them; they please people; and they try to do their work perfectly—at least for a while, until they become angry and resentful.” Kad čia pat knyga kalba apie tai, kas nėra rūpestis savimi ir kaltės atsikratymas - piktybinis kito neišgirdimas ar elgesys, kai žinai, kad kenki kitam, nėra "savo poreikių tenkinimas", abejingumas ir pasyvi agresija nėra "rūpestis savimi" ar "savo ribų brėžimas".
My daughter comes home from her first week at a new school. "Guess what, Mom?" she says. "We're reading a meditation each day in homeroom class from your book, The Language of Letting Go. And at my friend's school, they're talking about codependency issues in health class." The longer this lifetime goes, the more convinced I am that our primary responsibility in life is to find a way to make peace with ourselves, our past, and our present—no matter what we face and no matter how often we need to do that. A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.”The book is a little outdated, and though Melody strives to stay neutral when referring to gender roles, there's definitely a bias towards the male alcoholic and the stay at home wife codependent trying to fix him. There's also quite a lot of (unnecessary) religious bias, which of course the 12-step program relies heavily on. During her work with the spouses of addicts at a treatment center, she realized the problems that had led to her alcoholism were still there. Her pain wasn’t about her husband or his drinking; it was about her. There wasn’t a word for codependency yet. While Melody didn’t coin the term codependency, she became passionate about the subject. What was this thing we were doing to ourselves?
What’s not good? When “a person who relies upon a codependent does not learn how to have an equal, two-sided relationship and often comes to rely upon another person’s sacrifices and neediness.” Going Forward to a Healthier Relationship Terri Cole defined it as “overly invested in the feeling states, the decisions, the circumstances, and the outcomes of the people in your life, to the detriment of your internal peace, maybe your financial well-being, maybe your physical well-being.” This book will prompt you to climb the highest point and have a broad overview of how your life should be structured. The mindset that you nurture is going to be either your best friend or your worst enemy. 12min Tip I have preferred Pia Mellody's Facing Love Addiction for better coverage of this topic. I'm also keen to read Leslie Irvine's Codependent Forevermore, which is an even-handed critique of CoDA and the recovery moment in general.Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past.
- Fruugo ID: 258392218-563234582
- EAN: 764486781913
-
Sold by: Fruugo