My fantastic confidence in this endeavor and product waned considerably when I unfurled the poster-size directions. The four simple steps had transformed into more than a dozen, and the incredible specificity of each step had me in an immediate state of panic. I asked my friends: “Would a dildo of ‘myself’ make a good gift?” The response was a resounding “yes.” After my inquiry, my best friend, James, liked the idea so much that decided he, too, would craft a dildo for his girlfriend. At least I wouldn't be venturing into uncharted territory alone. Right around this point was when we started to realize we'd overlooked a crucial part of this plan: “ How does one make a dildo of one's penis?” Enter the Clone-A-Willy Kit I texted James to see if he’d had success. Nope. He, too, struggled with the molding mixture, and his curved penis kept touching the sides of the tube. (If he’d been less impatient, he would’ve seen that the Clone-A-Willy kit offers a solution for men with curved penises.) You then must hasten to shove your erect penis into the mixture "immediately," carefully avoiding touching the sides of tube. The tone of the directions—lighthearted and humorous—outline a process that required careful, diligent planning. As the impetuous man I am, directives such as, “Timing is very important!” stress me out, and I realized how unprepared I was for the Clone A Willy's litany of commands. How It Actually Worked

In lieu of a Valentine’s Day gift, I wrote my girlfriend a letter explaining what I’d gone through. I finished the letter with, “I tried, I failed, but I will not give up. I need your help, my love.” This kit is kind of like making pancakes except the batter is going to go bad in 90 seconds and you have to keep a boner the whole time,” James quipped. At least he managed to make a mold of the top half of his penis, allowing him to create a stubby replica of his half-boner, a neon purple “dome” that now sits on his girlfriend’s coffee table. Learn From My Mistakes