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We produce lubricant naturally when we become aroused, so if you feel slippery and wet this is perfectly normal. However if you feel a bit nervous it may help to add some lubrication to get things going. 'Gently spread your labia and use a spot of lube. There are very nice modern ones that increase the sensuousness of the occasion – such as Liquid Silk. But if you don't have any lubrication, saliva also works,' says Webber. 8. Find your pelvic floor muscles Human beings have five senses, all of which play a part in arousal, and depriving any one of these sensations can sharpen the rest. 'Winding yourself up with audio erotica while denying yourself touch, can be a way to make the main event seem all that more exciting,' suggests Sabat. 'You could even try using a blindfold or closing your eyes – so that you are entirely focused on the sensations you create when you do decide to touch yourself.' If you want to experience this, and for your woman to experience it, you need her to consider you a trustworthy man.
It is from this space of femininity and feeling held by the masculine that she is able to open her heart. Once her heart is open, she can switch off her monkey mind – the thinking part of the brain – and experience more pleasure. Breath control is an important aspect of yoga practise and tantric sex, and applying similar breathing techniques to masturbation can help you relax, contribute to the sensory experience and increase your orgasmic pleasure. 'To get started, experiment with the rhythm of your breathing and the deepness of your breaths to help you centre your mind and focus on the pleasure you’re giving to yourself,' says Sabat. Lots of people like to use sex toys to masturbate, with good reason! There are so many great sex toys available these days and with the right tools for the job you can almost guarantee an orgasm:
It is a great shame that most people these days get their sex education from porn. It has programmed men to believe that this is how sex should be done, when in fact this is not the case. Nipples are a very sensitive area of the body, and one of the key erogenous zones. When masturbating, experiment with your breasts and nipples to find out how (and if!) you like them to be touched. 'Relax, take your time and enjoy exploring this often under-appreciated part of your body,' says Sabat. 'In time, you may even find that you can reach orgasm through nipple play alone.'
Innuendo is your best friend when it comes to turning your woman on. Innuendo is subtle or not-so-subtle signs that sex is on the table or on your mind . Masturbation is often the first sexual experience people have. It means to stimulate yourself in a sexual way by touching and rubbing your genitals and other parts of your body for sexual pleasure. Masturbation usually (but not always) leads to an orgasm. Once you're nice and relaxed and you've explored yourself in the shower, dry yourself carefully, then rub your favourite lotion all over your body. 'Keep touching your body everywhere – it might be a good idea to stand in front of a mirror while you do it, so that you can get into the habit of looking at it and getting used to the sight and feel of it,' suggests Webber. 5. Romance yourself If the idea of being with someone really turns you on, then simply pretend! Try squatting on your bed over a pillow, a well-placed sex toy or use your hands. Crouch down and gently slide your fingers or sex toy such as this realistic dildo into your vagina. Experiment with a range of motions, from stroking your clitoris to pumping your fingers or sex toy in and out. 37. Arouse your mind and body with musicverifyErrors }}{{ message }}{{ /verifyErrors }}{{ If you have ever been in a relationship with a woman, or even just lived with one (your Mother included!), you will know that women are emotionally complex creatures. Much more so than men. Many women complain that their man is ‘out of touch’ with touch. Instead of gentle and delicate, over-eager hands can feel clumsy, fumbling, and rough. Over-eager hands send a clear signal to a woman that a man is in his head rather than his body and his heart. Massage can be incredibly relaxing and learning how to rub yourself can add to your masturbatory pleasure. 'Try marking your personal pleasure points with body oil or lotion, creating a map for you to explore,' says Sabat. 'Experimenting with different levels of pressure and kinds of caress can be tantalising! This practice will not only help to turn you on, but assist you in understanding what you do and don’t like. It’s truly the perfect blend of self-pleasure and self-care to spoil yourself with at the end of a long day.' As the sexual tension rises, keep going. But do what feels right for you, as there's no hurry. 'If you have never previously masturbated to orgasm, you might suddenly feel tired and want to stop. Or you may be nervous about the build up of excitement in your body. Don't worry about this. Just take your time. And if you don't want to go on right now, then that's fine. You can always try again another day,' says Webber. 15. Enjoy the orgasmic rush
Women are highly turned on by intellect and intelligence in general. They think and fantasize about sex much more than we men realize. Before you even enter the bedroom, talk to her. Make her sides split with laughter, showcase the depth of your knowledge or your skills in a certain area. If you're reluctant to watch porn but the idea of erotic imagery turns you on, make your own. Simply balance your smart phone on a stable surface and take photos of yourself. Try focusing on your body, your breasts and your vagina and see how it looks. You could even video your fingers sliding in and out of your vagina or film yourself rubbing your clitoris. Watching yourself can be incredibly erotic and empowering too! But keep your footage safe or consider deleting it afterwards. 23. Arouse your mindTo hep you get started on your journey to sexual self discovery we spoke to psychotherapist Christine Webber and sex therapist at Emjoy Mia Sabat about the benefits of masturbation plus 37 tried and tested tips on how to pleasure yourself: What is masturbation? This doesn’t just mean that you make her physically safe. Hopefully, the woman you want to please knows that you are not going to abuse, rape, or hurt her. Despite knowing she is physically safe, she can still feel emotionally unsafe . Once she has surrendered, this is where the magical, healing elements of sex can rise to the surface. Through sex, you can bring her to cry tears of joy or tears of pain as she emotionally releases what has been held deep inside for so long.
Another important aspect of sexual experimentation is learning how your body responds to touch, and testing out different ways of touching yourself can be exhilarating. 'Experiment with the amount of pressure you use on your body and clitoris, to see what suits you best,' says Sabat. 'You may discover a new-found sensitivity, or pressure points that you like to be a little rougher with.' Most men go straight for the yoni when they are turned on (and then they wonder why she isn’t wet). You can also utilize mind sex whilst you are working on bringing her to the point of orgasm. Start talking a little bit dirty to her, tell her how much you want to see and feel her come. You will watch her start to squirm and hear her moan even louder… Have a special something It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Whilst I do not entirely pertain to the notion that men and women are completely different creatures, I do believe that when it comes to sexuality, this statement holds a lot of truth. What many men fail to recognize, and something that I regularly remind my clients, is the fact that these states can be shifted and manipulated by the way in which you lead.How to work with innuendo? Make sure to spend adequate time in foreplay of ALL kinds. What do I mean by foreplay of all kinds? I mean foreplay both inside and outside of the bedroom. Foreplay is sending sexy text messages telling you what you want to do to her when you get home. Foreplay could also be taking her out for a romantic meal and spending time talking to her and getting to know her more on a deep level. Mostly due to her hormonal patterns and the menstrual cycle, the emotional state of a woman is constantly and consistently fluctuating. Mood and habit-wise, on the light side they are dynamic. On the shadow side, they are erratic and unpredictable. Be flirtatious all day long. Grab her hips and pull her ass against you whilst she is cooking. Give her shoulder rubs. Text her to tell her she is sexy and that you are imagining her naked legs wrapped around her shoulders. If you're not familiar with your own body, spend some time getting to know yourself by using a mirror. Watching yourself can be incredibly arousing and empowering as well as informative. 'Lie down on your bed and use a mirror to look at your private and intimate places,' suggests Webber. Alternatively sit in front of a tall mirror and see how your body responds when you touch yourself. 7. Lube up
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