Not Without My Daughter

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A taraf invitation to dinner resulted in Betty calling Mammal a liar, prompting Moody to fly into a rage. He started assaulting Betty in full view of their host family and Mahtob. Mahtob tried to stop him but was also hurt in the process. When Moody’s rage was somewhat lesser, Mammal led him away. Nasserine came in to comfort Betty, and in her efforts enlightened Betty to the fact that Reza and Mammal both behaved that way. I would like to mention that I have never met any Iranians that are anything like Betty’s former in-laws, but doesn’t mean that they’re not out there. The family was a crazy one to say the least: extreme, fanatical, superstitious, and never mind disgusting with their hygiene (but let’s not go there!). Her husband was an absolute tyrant and her life had become a living hell. During their escape several people put themselves in harms way, possibly even in a position where they could be killed for helping Ms. Mahmoody and her daughter, but she doesn't express very much appreciation for it. She does, however, complain that every single household who helped them along the way served her "rancid" cheese that she couldn't even eat. No spoilers in this review of the Not Without My Daughter trilogy: Not Without My Daughter , My Name Is Mahtob, and Lost Without My Daughter.

In mid January 1986, Betty learned that her father was dying. Moody insisted that Betty return to the U.S., but demanded that Mahtob remain in Iran. Despite her refusal to leave without Mahtob, Moody booked her a flight on January 31. On January 29, 1986, Moody, an anesthesiologist, was unexpectedly called to the hospital. Knowing that this was her last chance before she was forced to leave Iran without her daughter, Betty called Amahl, asking for instructions. He directed them to an apartment where they remained for three days as Amahl completed their travel arrangements. They were to travel through Turkey; the smugglers would take them from Tehran to Tabriz and then to Van. From there, Betty and Mahtob would need to find a way to Ankara and get to the U.S. Embassy. Moody denied many of the claims made by his wife in "Not Without my Daughter". He collaborated with Alexis Kouros to create a documentary, Without My Daughter, to counter the claims in Betty's book.

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Betty’s courage and bravery are to be admired and left me full of awe. I simply cannot imagine having that sort of strength. I’ve known friends and family members who’ve escaped the country much the same way that she did. None of them were escaping a brutal husband. Most did not have a young child to worry about. Finally, every single one of them spoke Farsi. The ones that I have known escaped due to religious or political persecution. I’m not trying to minimize their struggles, just saying that hers was quite unique and had its challenges also. Moody’s laziness also increased as Betty had expected it to. He no longer bothered to go on the school run with Betty. Khanum Shaheen noticed this and told Betty she could not allow her to use the phone or leave the building, but if she was ever late, they could overlook that. Miss Alavi mysteriously showed up outside the apartment. She told Betty everything was arranged for her Zahedan trip and she would find Mahtob. On August 23, 2009, Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody died in Tehran, Iran, aged 70. The state news agency IRNA quoted his nephew, Majid Ghodsi, as reporting that he died in a hospital from kidney problems and other complications.

A further book was released in 2015, My Name is Mahtob written by Mahtob Mahmoody with the tagline "Not without my Daughter continues".At the party, Judy took Betty into a room on the pretext of having her type a letter for a medical visa validated by Moody. In that room, Rasheed shared his details with Betty and told her they would try to get her and Mahtob out in two weeks. Betty then gave Judy letters for her parents and sons. She also typed up Moody’s letter and spent time reminiscing about life in the States. Moody was equally happy with the outcome of the party. Rasheed had offered him a job at his clinic, and he was ecstatic about the employment he was about to have. Moody becomes more hostile and abusive to his wife and daughter, preventing Betty from leaving the house or even using the telephone. One day Betty answers a phone call from her mother and reveals she is trapped in Iran. Her mother tells her to seek help from the American Interests Section of the Swiss Embassy. Betty sneaks out of the house and visits the embassy, but is told that under Iran's nationality law, she acquired Iranian citizenship upon her marriage to Moody and thus is not entitled to consular protection. Because Iran is an Islamic republic governed by sharia law, Betty cannot leave the country or make decisions concerning her daughter without her husband's permission. Moody, alarmed by Betty's absence from the house, threatens to kill her if she tries anything again. I went to Iran, became completely sure that the book and the film are nonsense. So much so that it’s even not polite to mention it before Iranians. Like, say, stories about brown bears playing in the middle of a Red Square and dining on unfortunate tourists. During one of the Nowruz parties, Moody met a doctor who offered to help with his license. Great news followed soon after that with the arrival of a job offer from the same hospital. The license still wasn’t sorted out, but they really needed an anesthesiologist, so they were going to ignore that technicality. This cheered Moody up immensely, and he showered smiles and kindness upon Betty and Mahtob. Trigger Warning from Sarina: This recap is true to the books’ themes of violence, racism, Islamophobia, abuse, gaslighting, PTSD, emotional trauma, and kidnapping.

The book was not so much about his family or his daughter as it was about the social and political aspects of the Iran/Iraqi war. Mahmoody argues against claims made by his wife, but then proceeds to gloss over his account of things, focusing instead primarily on his discussion of the war. Betty planned a thanksgiving party with Alice, and they ventured out on several shopping trips. Alice showed Betty where she could make long distance phone calls from, and Betty gleefully told her family she would be home for Thanksgiving. Days of mourning followed the sad event, and Betty managed to secure the role of childminder for all fifteen children in the family. This gave her the opportunity to make some essential phone calls. She arranged to meet Helen at the park and couldn’t reach Miss Alavi. The call that did not go in her favor was with Ellen. Ellen had told Hormoz all about Betty’s request and plan to escape, and he had insisted she tell Moody now. Ellen believed if she didn’t do so, she would be violating her Islamic duty. Betty begged her not to and promised to tell Moody herself. She could not believe her undoing may come from a fellow American. Despite their deep connection,Betty did not want to remarry. She told Moody she relished her freedom and wanted to keep it that way. He was happy to go along with it, but other forces were pushing them together. Betty had risen to a position at work which had never been filled by a woman. Although she was getting paid considerably less for it, she was living up to her own ambitions. She had achieved what no woman in her town had achieved. and she convinced him to move in with different relatives. Betty started helping around the house and preparing dinner. Moody accompanied her on all her errands. Eventually, he claimed to not have the time and told her to go herself. On one of these occasions, she befriended the owner of a menswear store named Hamid. Hamid sympathized with Betty, and offered her use of his telephone if she needed it.Trigger Warning: This recap is true to the books’ themes of violence, racism, Islamophobia, abuse, gaslighting, PTSD, emotional trauma, and kidnapping. Betty landed in Iran at the turning point of this transition. The country had just ousted the Shah and gone to war with Iraq. As with any war, nationalist and religious sentiment was at its height. Another sentiment that reigned the mood of the day was hostility towards the United States for supplying arms to both sides. It can be incredibly difficult to separate the two, especially for someone hailing from small towns. Betty woke up the next day filled with fear. Moody sent Mahtob to school and insisted they go to SwissAir to hand in her passport. She reminded him she was due to go to the market with Chamsey and Khanum Hakim. Moody insisted they go to SwissAir first. The next day, another strange woman showed up at the house asking for Moody. She said she was diabetic and her family didn’t believeher. Her husband was fighting the war, and she desperately needed Moody’s help. He told her he couldn’t help, but he strongly suspected she was a CIA agent. This brought another dimension to Betty’s understanding of her own sheltered experience. Had her cries for help reached as far as the States?

A teacher approached Betty at the school and gave her a number to call. She called the number to find a lady called Miss Alavi on the other end. Miss Alavi wanted to meet with Betty, but her office was far from everywhere Betty was allowed to frequent. The opportunity presented itself on a day when Nasserine, Mammal, and Moody were all tied up with work. She scribbled a note for Moody that the kids were irritable, therefore she was taking them to the park. As I think about concluding my review, I bump up against the question haunting me through months of reading all three: Would I recommend them? In the writing of this review, I have found that answer. Yes, I would. No book should ever be condemned because it doesn’t fit within the current world or offend your sensibilities. Read all three, do your own research, and form your own opinion.Moody invited Ameh Bozorg, Baba Hajji, and the Hakims over for dinner. His sister insisted they eat dinner after ten and not at six, but he gave her no alternative. This time, it was Moody who was commenting on the sloppy table manners of his family. She went to consult a lawyer, who told her there could be danger in going to Iran, but she could take no legal action until something happened. She could not have Moody lose custody of Mahtob unless he actually did flee to Iran with her. She could not put Mahtob in that position, so she decided to go along to safeguard her. This did not make the journey easy. Her body revolted every time they changed flights, and she could not shake off the fear. Yet I recommend that the film be seen, for two reasons. One reason is because of the undeniable dramatic strength of its structure and performances; it is impossible not to identify with this mother and her daughter, and Field is very effective as a brave, resourceful woman who is determined to free herself and her daughter from involuntary captivity.