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Dr. Tamara Rosier: Well, yeah. And so I'm glad you had an Elsa moment and you're letting it go. I mean, I can, you know, I'm picturing you driving down the road, belting, "Let it go. Let it go." But you know, there's you're right. Our ego gets involved because when we're younger, what happens is we learned to care what other people think as a survival technique. As someone with ADHD, I’ve tried to hide my natural ways of thinking and behaving to fit into a non-ADHD world. I do my best to look “normal,” which usually means pretending to be a grown-up while hog-tying my impulsive thoughts and actions. And I think that's really important to think about like, "Hey, there are a lot of ways that ADHD presents and there's a lot of things that maybe not aren't ADHD symptom and herself, but are consequences of a symptom."
Dr. Tamara Rosier: Well, thank you. You're very kind, you know what gymnastics we do in our head, that we never do anything good enough. And so I I'm confessing my feelings about the book. Because I have ADHD and I have these thought patterns I constantly have to fight and I do have to fight it. And I am so appreciative of people like you who read and go, yeah, this all made sense to me. And I'm so appreciative. So I'm grateful. But again, you know, the weird things that happen in our heads. Dr. Tamara Rosier: I would love to encourage people to remember things will always take longer than they want to plan for. And that you will always either overestimate your energy or underestimate your energy. We usually don't get it just right. So just be aware of the time and the energy. William Curb: Yeah, just something to modulate how we're at, where you're at. You can't go beyond this point.William Curb: Yeah. Those are great and hard to get yourself to really engage in, to be like, Hey, I'm going to, I'm going to, this is important too. And I think it's interesting because I get what she's talking about. I've had COVID and I know the, I call it narcoleptic tiredness. I could just drop and I it's, it's amazing how fatigued. It's not just fatigue of, oh, I'm just not productive. It's a bone tired fatigue.
And so why would I waste it on someone who cut me off when I know that I have to do this task later on and that's going to take emotional energy. I just, I want to be a little bit more miserly with it. Dr. Tamara Rosier: or, you know, I always say, so here's your apple and that's a kangaroo - they're not even comparable. It's not even a thing. And so sometimes when we look at other people going, well, how come they can just show up at work every day on time? And I have to yell at myself. I have to do all these things to motivate myself. You know, why can't I just do it? Well, we have to figure out ways for you to do it. Not just wish that it just happened to us. There were large parts of this book that i loved- I really appreciated the explanation of the prefrontal cortex and how the services at Butler improved short-term memory and hints. I resonated with the description of how sensory hypersensitivity relates to emotional hyperactivity, but noted that there were a lot of blaming of external factors and a tendency to trust external reporting of the client's experience rather than listening to the client's internal experience. This removes agency from us- I am the expert on me. Only I know what it feels like inside me. William Curb: Yeah, I mean, there's so many ideas that we can in places that we were excelling at that we just write off because I didn't fill out the doctor's form. Right. Or I can't keep my car clean. So therefore I'm not a good person. All those moralistic judgements we put on ourselves that have nothing to do with morals. William Curb: Yeah. And we're not being productive by doing any of the recovery things either. It's like, could, could I not do something that would be good for me tomorrow too. I'm just doing things. Doing that borrowing from here. I'm not doing anything to be like, okay, let's also do this productive thing. That's gonna make me feel awesome tomorrow.William Curb: Yeah. And it's, it's hard to get out of, but it's, once you start going, oh, I'm not actually comparing anything. Cause that's the problem with comparison. We're not actually comparing anything. You're just going, that's better. I'm going to compare this rotten apple that I found to this perfect apple. Why would anyone want this rotten apples? Like, well, because you just found that on the side of the road and you just decided that was what you had
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