10 x "Submissive" Tattoo lettering in black - Sexy Kinky BDM Tattoo (10)

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One way that you can do that is to use positive reinforcement when the submissive is following the rules. Positive reinforcement can be as effective as corporal punishment. Rewards can be used as motivators. As a submissive myself, nothing makes me happier than pleasing my Dominant. If I please him, then he reciprocates with more doting behavior. He delights in making me happy. So if I follow the rules, he rewards me. It makes me want to keep behaving. Positive reinforcement works best for me. Ownership and submission can go hand in hand, but not always. Not all submissives care to be “owned” by a Dominant. The main difference is that ownership cements the commitment between a Dominant and submissive. Other D/s relationships (sans the ownership) may have commitment terms (such as monogamy, etc) - but ownership in itself is a distinct thing that takes some negotiating. Why is ownership sexy? Some people desire a 24/7 D/s dynamic where the “ownership” spills out into everyday life (for example, the Dominant choosing the submissive’s clothing, hairstyle, jewelry, etc) and some may want ownership to strictly include playtime. In fact, it can even be some variation of the two. Really, ownership is unique to each D/s couple who chooses to define their relationship in this way. What does it really mean to be owned? The symbol has a significant meaning and details that make it stand for what it stands, so not much can be changed about the basic design, on the other hand, I would also like it to be PRETTY, feminine, and unique. So far I haven't found such a design. I have been thinking about getting the bdsm emblem tattooed on my body for several years now, and recently I have been spending more and more time researching for the perfect design.

Responsible Dom/mes understand their submission is a gift and good submissive’s understand that Dom/mes need to be needed/wanted as well. Some pointers for the design are that it needs to fit onto my body, so not be too big and masculine of a design. That is one of the objections I have with the traditional design, it looks quite manly to me. It comes down to communication as well and about being ready for an extra level of commitment and submission. My dom knows I'd be unhappy if he wanted me to go through that and so doesn't ask. Maybe there will be a day when he thinks I am ready for that and I'll do it.... The Dominant wants respect and devotion. The submissive must trust the boundaries and rules that are put into place. As a submissive, I rely on my Dom to guide me, lead me, and in return he gets my devotion. Punishments I’m not saying becoming someone’s owned “property” should be natural or effortless or easy - but it can’t be forced, either. Ultimately, this conversation will take some time and communication from both people to determine the best way to move forward in the relationship.

Secret Heart Tattoo Which Makes Sense Only When You Hold Hands With Your Significant Other

Another route to go down is body modification. When I was with my ex-partner he'd encouraged me to get my nipples pierced. Unfortunately for me, I had healing issues on both occasions and my body rejected the piercings. However, the whole experience of being pierced, of knowing I was doing something so sexual for him and so symbolic was such a turn on and very exhilarating. My tip here is going to a piercer that is recommended by other kinksters. The first one I used was in the seaside town I used to live in and the second in a studio that dealt primarily with goths and I had only one or two personal recommendations of the place. It's such a serious thing to make sure you go somewhere that will look after you and give you the right advice.

D/s looks different for every pair of partners. Even you, as an individual, can need and want different things from each partnership. Lots of research should go into things like painplay or any new kink/fetish you’re going to try. Understanding the risks, safety precautions, and how to engage in certain types of play is essential. Gifts- Gifts do not have to be extravagant. They can be small. For example, maybe the submissive likes chocolate, coffee mugs, or makeup. You can get her one of these items and present it to her when she does as you ask or complies with a rule that has been difficult for her to follow in the past. Collars are the thing that is most commonly associated with ownership. Being collared, as it’s called, can mean so many different things. It can be a simple accessory or prop that you use during playtime or it can be a symbol of something deeper (like ownership). They can be worn all the time (beautiful collars like this) or they can be specifically used for play (more practical collars like this). Some collars are even kind of symbolic of a wedding band. The kind of collar you (and your Dominant) choose should represent whatever you want it to represent and it should be a style that you are happy with. Spanking. Orgasm Denial. Silent treatment. All are forms of punishment that a Dominant can use to punish their submissive. Some people like the idea of punishments. In fact, that may be their biggest attraction to the BDSM way of life. But it’s not the main draw.

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Names (what you will call each other, names that are “fair play” and names that are “off-limits”, etc) Taking Away Privileges- The Dominant takes away things that the sub loves. This could be something small like taking away television time to something more extreme, not being allowed to get on social media for a certain period of time.

Caning- This type of spanking happens when the blows are delivered by a thin cane made of rattan across your behind. The cane can be a single rod or a bundle. BDSM contracts aren’t as “intense” as they sound. Again, highly personalizable, contracts can be formal and some can be simple. Tone of voice- For me this is the greatest reward. Hearing my Dom’s voice assure me that I am safe and his, is the greatest reward. To me it’s the ultimate prize. When I receive that message, he affirms that I am a good girl and that I please him. There is a sweetness in his voice that I know is mine alone. It’s a tone that he only shares with me and instantly calms me. It makes me want to keep pleasing him. ConclusionDuring the early courtship, the Dominant will try and build the submissive’s confidence. As a submissive myself, this is crucial to helping me feel comfortable enough to test my limits. The Dominant can do things like ask for pictures in various stages of dress; starting from fully clothed and then gradually less. Reminding them that they are a beautiful, precious treasure to them. They can reassure them that they aren’t leaving. They will remind the submissive that they are safe and they cared for. Here is a useful link to explain what the symbol looks like and what it is and is not. emblemproject.sagcs.net/is.htm Once the punishment is completed, aftercare is critical for the mental well-being of the submissive. The punishment is meant to hurt so that the undesired behavior doesn’t happen again. Aftercare reassures the sub that they are still cared for. The aftercare after punishment is not the same as aftercare after a scene. There should be some reassurance to the submissive to remind them they aren’t bad, they are still loved. Avoiding shame triggers is a vital part of protecting the submissive’s emotional and mental health. If I broke a rule and knew that I disappointed my Dominant, I would need to have a discussion about what happened, why I shouldn’t break the rule, why the punishment happened, and that I am still loved and cared for. I made a bad choice, I am not a bad girl. While it looks different than post-playtime aftercare, that bit of reassurance and reconnection allows me to have time to improve and remember he is still there for me. Rewards If you like this idea but aren’t wanting to get something permanent like a tattoo, you can try either temporary tattoos or writing your lover’s name on you (which, I can say from experience, is super hot). Rings or Other Jewelry