The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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Something resembling the Gottman's weekends and therapist training is needed to offer a lifeline to the many couples headed for divorce unnecessarily, if they just had help. Interactive settings are often much better in getting through to ADHD folks than books. Having a respected presenter say the same things the non-ADHD partner is trying to express should increase credibility, and open the door to understanding. Books are simply not enough. A non-profit method to provide this help to lower income folks would have a huge impact.

The only advice in this book I found helpful was reinforcement that marriage meetings should be happening once or twice a week, and the use of index cards to support the “ADHD partner” index card system.

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To demonstrate how this method works, let’s explore it through an imaginary couple – Alex and Beth. Say Beth feels upset by something Alex said to her – a common habit of people with low impulse control. First off, I was really annoyed with the voice of the narrator, it was kind of whiny. So I wasn't impressed with the actual voice, but I also wasn't impressed with the voice of the author with regard to how the book was written either. She said that you shouldn't treat people with ADHA like they're children, but I constantly felt like she was talking about them like they were children. When ADHD’s presence in a relationship is denied, ignored or misunderstood, everyone in the household suffers. As each partner struggles to have their point of view respected, resentment, loneliness and anger creep in. Before long, what was once a happy, loving home has morphed into one filled with sadness and distance.

Step 1: Cultivating Empathy for Your Spouse - stories from real life and what they mean for you (p. 79. Audio 4. Kindle loc. 1403) Positivity is brief. You’ll hear one statement about how things will be great. Then it is followed by how miserable everyone is.

But even if your examples are only one type, you can at least create advice for those who are outliers (like me). If you are a nonADHD wife needing help for relationship issues with an ADHD husband I bet this is going to be super helpful for you. Keep in mind that boundaries aren’t a wish list, they’re values to guide your own behavior. It may take you time to hit on what’s really essential, so test out different scenarios until you find what lets you be your best self. One helpful consistent reminder from the first half of the book is how helpful getting consistent exercise is for people with ADHD so I've taken that too heart and prioritized working out - it's made me more likely to want to keep doing stuff at work and home (but I'm getting a little too hyperfocused on it since it's new and exciting again - story of my life). Overview: A team of ADHD and ADHD relationship experts ready to help you turn your relationship around

Research by social psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron suggests that in established relationships, simply spending time together isn’t enough to reignite warmth. What couples need is new, exciting activities that provide just the right amount of challenge – like going on a bike trip or taking a course together. I'd also like to give my thoughts on another review which I think is very unfair. Never does this book state the nonADHD spouse is superior to the ADHD spouse, in fact the main gist I got from it was that you shouldn't act like that and you shouldn't have a parent-child like relationship unless you want to be unhappy and make your spouse also unhappy. Also it IS use to women with ADHD, the author has a section about both partners having ADHD and while most examples are using "he" as the one with ADHD there are lots of examples where she says "she" has the ADHD. Also don't forget this author is a she and her husband was the one that has ADHD so she's going to talk more that way. Doesn't mea it doesn't talk about it the other way round though. It's not patronising, you need simple things to get through to your head, I can't sit there reading scientific wording and overly complex ways of saying simple statements, otherwise I won't understand what I need to do? It's not written for a dumb person, you still feel it's intelligent. It also doesn't say that all problems are down to ADHD, in fact it makes clear that often both parties have other illnesses that might be causing issues and suggests the non-adhd spouse look into if they have issues of anxiety/depression and so on and clearly says that those with ADHD most of the time have other illnesses along with that like depression etc etc. I mean it is a book about ADHD so the author is gonna focus on that? If you want a book about general marriage problems and tips then go for a totally different type of book.

Section 1 - Understanding ADHD in Your Marriage

As consultants, we focus on what needs to be done. Yes, that often means suggested ‘homework’ between sessions to help explore strategies we think might work for you. Even when dealing with your emotional issues, we are keeping forward motion in mind: What do your feelings mean for defining what actions you and your partner might take? How do we (client and consultant) keep heading towards your most important goals?