8 Rules of Love: The Sunday Times bestsellling guide on how to find lasting love and enjoy healthy relationships, from the author of Think Like A Monk

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What I love about this book adalah 2 bab awal ngebahas habis tentang self-love. Bukan yg normatif. Tapi ngingetin kita kalau "lu mau pasangan yg kayak gitu, ya lu kudu usaha sampe ke level itu." No one lift us up kecuali diri kita sendiri. That's one thing. The other thing yg aku syukuri adalah: Syemmi ngasih aku banyak "gift" yg selama ini aku dapatkan dari orangtuaku. Eh. He had to go there, didn’t he. It wasn’t just the Simon & Schuster employee trying to schill a book; the author himself says he’s doing things that have not been done before. Like Moses coming down from the mountaintop, he brings us rules. Nadie nos enseña a amar y es por ello que, a menudo, nos vemos inmersos en relaciones amorosas cuyos únicos modelos son las películas románticas y la cultura pop. Jay Shetty se aleja de este concepto de amor etéreo, una mera colección de clichés, y establece los pasos específicos para desarrollar las habilidades que nos ayudaran a vivir y cuidar nuestro amor de la mejor forma posible.

ir ļoti iedrošinoša grāmata! Smaidīt. Sev un citiem. Mīlēt. Sevi un citus. Un ne vien astoņos mīlestības likumos, bet pagriežot "8" simbolu ... "∞" ... bezgalība ...

Introduction

At first, 8 rules of love may seem like just another one of the boring, repetitive self-help books that's gonna try and teach us about love and instead be full of author's plugins, repetitive advice we've all heard that doesn't work and just fall short. You forget what you've read a day or two after. This is so far from that. But I would hate to express my love for this book and how great it is, with comparing it to others, and moreso because of how in its own league it is. A lot of people say, “We just don’t love each other anymore, we’ve fallen out of love.” What that means is that love wasn’t enough. There were character traits that we needed that we didn’t find in that partner, that we didn’t recognize we needed to grow the relationship. The Gottman Institute, which publishes studies on relationships, talked about how the number one thing that keeps couples together is not date nights, holiday cruises, or walks on the beach, it’s their ability to learn how to argue, the ability to turn an argument into a discussion. Fighting and arguing push you apart, but discussion and debate bring you closer.

Many people have lost someone naturally or after a long relationship has broken down—does that mean that all the other love in their life is disqualified? Some of the most incredible things in the world, some of the most amazing sacrifices and the greatest acts of love were not because of romantic love, but because of a person’s love for their people, for society, for humanity. Inspirándose en la antigua sabiduría védica y en la ciencia moderna, Shetty nos comparte sus ideas sobre cómo definir el amor, cómo evolucionar en pareja o, incluso, cómo romper una relación y empezar otra. Jay Shetty nos muestra cómo evitar las falsas promesas y las relaciones que no son para nosotros. But anyway, aku bukan mau bahas korelasi lagunya JKT48 dg buku ini ya. Aku malah pengin share what key takeaways yg bikin aku menyadari sesuatu dalam hubungan kami.In the first ashram, Brahmacharya, we prepare for love by learning how to be alone and learning from our past relationships how to improve our next one. Alone, we learn to love ourselves, to understand ourselves, to heal our own pain, and to care for ourselves. We experience atma prema, self-love. As DePaulo says, “One of our challenges culturally is that we don’t tell positive affirming stories about people who are single.” Whether you look at movies, music, or TV shows, usually, even though people in relationships are struggling, it’s highlighted when someone’s alone. 2. Chemistry starts a relationship, but character makes it last. Many of us pass through these four ashrams without learning the lessons they present. In the first ashram, we resist being alone and miss out on the growth that solitude offers. In the second, we avoid lessons that come from the challenges that accompany any relationship. In the third, we don’t take responsibility for our healing. And the fourth—loving everyone—is something we never even consider because we have no idea it’s possible. If you look up ashram in a dictionary, you’ll find that it means hermitage. The meanings of Sanskrit words often get stripped down in their English definitions, but in practice they have more depth. I define ashram as a school of learning, growth, and support. A sanctuary for self-development, somewhat like the ashram in which I spent my years as a monk. We are meant to be learning at every stage of life. Think about life as a series of classrooms or ashrams in which we learn various lessons. Sparkling 5 stars!!! A huge bravo to Jay Shetty! By far the best author I have discovered this year and 8 rules of love the best book I've read this year.

The storybook version of love I displayed for Radhi wasn’t the love that would sustain our relationship. Fairy tales, films, songs, and myths don’t tell us how to practice love every day. That requires learning what love means for the two of us as individuals and unlearning what we thought it meant. That’s why I’m sharing my imperfect story. I don’t know everything, and I don’t have everything figured out. Radhi has taught me so much about love, and I continue to learn with her. I’m sharing all this book’s advice with you knowing how much I could have used it myself and will use it in the future. Love is not about staging the perfect proposal or creating a perfect relationship. It’s about learning to navigate the imperfections that are intrinsic to ourselves, our partners, and life itself. I hope this book helps you do just that. By living Jay Shetty’s eight rules, we can all love ourselves, our partner, and the world better than we ever thought possible. We must use the time when we are single or take time alone when we are in a couple to understand ourselves, our pleasures, and our values. When we learn to love ourselves, we develop compassion, empathy, and patience. Then we can use those qualities to love someone else. In this way, being alone—not lonely, but comfortable and confident in situations where we make our own choices, follow our own lead, and reflect on our own experience—is the first step in preparing ourselves to love others. Fear of Loneliness

How to Find it, Keep it, and Let it go

Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now. When I decided to ask Radhi to marry me, I set out to arrange the best, most romantic proposal of all time. I asked a friend about engagement rings and bought her a classic diamond ring. Then, on a beautiful spring evening in 2014, I suggested to her that we meet near London Bridge to take a walk down the bank of the Thames (we were living in London at the time). I told her we were going to a nice place for dinner, knowing she would dress appropriately for the night I had planned. Just as we passed an idyllic spot with one of the best views in the city, a man suddenly appeared and gave her a huge bouquet. As she was marveling over the flowers, an a cappella group burst out of nowhere and joined the bouquet-bearing man to sing the Bruno Mars song Marry You. I got down on one knee and proposed to her. She cried; I cried too. After she said yes, a vegan meal was delivered, and we sat down to eat at a table I had set up on the bank of the Thames. She thought that was the end of the fanfare, and we got up to head home, but as we rounded a corner, there was a white horse-drawn carriage. We climbed aboard, and it carried us through the city, passing all the major sights. She was shouting out, I’m engaged! and passersby cheered for us. Finally, we went to share our good news with her parents. Aku ngeh banget gimana usahaku buat nggak mengulangi pola yg sama dg kekurangan orangtuaku (makanya aku baca buku kayak gini..). Tapi rupanya tanpa sadar aku juga punya standar yg nggak aku cantumin dalam ceklisku. Misalnya nih, karena dibesarkan dg ayah yg hobi ke museum & toko buku, aku jadi nyari partner yg juga bakal enjoy kalau ku ajak ke sana. I want to feel that kind of excitement dg orang yg kusayang & yg sayang dgku. When I was twenty-one years old, I skipped my college graduation to join an ashram in a village near Mumbai. I spent three years there as a Hindu monk, meditating, studying ancient scriptures, and volunteering alongside my fellow monks.