Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse

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really liked this book! i think it’s a good read for anyone who might need some healing when it comes to relationships or therapists !! I’d like to finish by returning to an idea I mentioned near the beginning of this article: read the great books twice. The philosopher Karl Popper explained the benefits nicely, “Anything worth reading is not only worth reading twice, but worth reading again and again. If a book is worthwhile, then you will always be able to make new discoveries in it and find things in it that you didn’t notice before, even though you have read it many times.” Toxic shame is the feeling that we are somehow inherently defective, that something is wrong with our being. Guilt is “I made a mistake, I did something wrong.” Shame is “I’m a mistake, something is wrong with me.” At the core of our wounding is the unbearable emotional pain resulting from having internalized the false message that we are not loved because we are personally defective and shameful. —ROBERT BURNEY”

Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True

As a Survivor of more than one toxic lethal relationship this book really spoke to me. There are many books on this topic but I find they are either badly written memoirs or a load of psychological babble from someone with two degrees who has never been through it. People cannot go from abusing and manipulating you one day, to magically being healed a week later. This is simply impossible. Especially when this change occurs as a response to possible abandonment or rejection, there’s just no chance this is authentic change.”Resentment is the natural reaction to betrayal and pain, so please do not judge yourself for carrying it. The key is discovering what lives behind the resentment. We don’t resent people unless there was a great deal of pain involved. If a random stranger insults you on the sidewalk, you don“t spend months or years ruminating about it. You only do that when you feel hurt or betrayed by someone you love, trust, and care for. This is the very first review of this book. Being the first reviewer, I am beginning to feel the pressure of having to establish the standard for the other reviewers. I’m now working on my very first book review, and I’m giving it a lot more thought than the typical reader would give something like this. This book was written for persons in my situation, like me. Read if you could. Conclusion

9780143133315: Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and - AbeBooks

Don’t focus on their hurtful behavior, but instead the feelings it brought out in you. You cannot release resentment with your mind. You cannot think your way out of this problem. Instead, you need to gain the tool you don’t have: Soothing. Love.” Connections like these help you remember what you read by “hooking” new information onto concepts and ideas you already understand. As Charlie Munger says, “If you get into the mental habit of relating what you’re reading to the basic structure of the underlying ideas being demonstrated, you gradually accumulate some wisdom.” There are many benefits to reading more books, but perhaps my favorite is this: A good book can give you a new way to interpret your past experiences. With clear writing it covers everything you’d need. Outlines on what constitutes a toxic relationship, what defines it? You might be surprised at some things. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, sibling, partner it still does the same damage to your body and mind. Science has proven the dangerous impact on health, mental health and actual brain changes that occur.Core Wound: People with BPD tend to be suffering from a deep wound of rejection or abandonment, which has planted an idea of inner defectiveness in them. This causes them to believe they are inherently worthless and unlovable—that they cannot be themselves, because no one will ever want that person. Note: People with BPD often think “being themselves” equates to being extremely emotional and sobbing, or being clingy and jealous, or manic and impulsive. So the protective self is on its best behavior (idealization period) until it feels safe, and then exposes these more and more dramatic qualities, until eventually people leave. But neither of these sides is who you truly are. They are both the protective self, one “perfect” and another “broken.” The protective self creates an infinite loop to keep you trapped and justify its own existence.” When you read something that reminds you of another topic or immediately sparks a connection or idea, don’t allow that thought to come and go without notice. Write about what you’ve learned and how it connects to other ideas. 5. Write a Short Summary One way to imagine a book is like a knowledge tree with a few fundamental concepts forming the trunk and the details forming the branches. You can learn more and improve reading comprehension by “linking branches” and integrating your current book with other knowledge trees. It’s not your job to manage the emotions of others. It’s an exhausting role that may offer temporary bursts of self-worth, but ultimately will drain the life out of you.

Whole Again (PDF/ePub) by Parm K.C. You Will Feel Whole Again (PDF/ePub) by Parm K.C.

Buy this book even if you just think a connection you have is toxic. Buy it if it’s over and you are broken and feel so alone. Buy it for someone who can’t see what is really happening to them as often when we read things instead of being told it sinks in better. I cannot recommend this book highly enough, even if the trauma was a long time ago. Five stars! The author describes a weight in his heart, on his chest, and that observing that sensation and working through the protective self to understand those sensations helps to heal the heart and self. It is HARD work. And I have been doing it for what feels like a million years. What does my protective self feel like it needs to protect me from? I should probably read this book again, more slowly, and with a pen and paper at hand, to be sure to take in the lesions it’s trying to teach me. Their happiness is short lived as Sara finds hints of a long-buried secret which could separate them. Who is Luca, and what is his connection to Gino? s a Tamil novel written by the famous author, Bharathidasan. The story revolves around two boys, Ramu and Chandra, who are friends in school but grow apart as they grow up. Ramu is a poor boy living with his mother whereas Chandra has an affluent lifestyle with his father and stepmother. They both go to college together in Madras after completing their schooling but gradually drift apart due to various reasons including studies and social status differences between them. Mindfulness helps us become aware of our default thinking patterns, so we can start to realize how we think. The goal is not to try to stop thoughts or feelings we don’t like, but instead to allow them to be there—without judging, changing, or avoiding them. This lets you build a friendly, curious relationship with the stuff going on inside your body and mind, even the stuff that feels awful.

As you develop the unconditional love, what you’re essentially looking for is where your body or mind resists this love. One of the most persistent and difficult “resisters” is toxic shame. We finally stop running.” C-PTSD sufferers who experienced abuse may engage in mental arguments with their abusers long after the abuse has ended. Most people with C-PTSD experienced ongoing abuse from someone (or multiple people) who repeatedly betrayed their trust, and blamed them for this betrayal. They were made the scapegoat of someone else’s shame, which eventually caused them to absorb this shame themselves.”

Whole Again by Kerry Katona | Waterstones Kerry Katona: Whole Again by Kerry Katona | Waterstones

Step 1: You start out joyful and whole, able to freely love (and receive love). This is how we all start out. Some people don’t ever recall feeling like this, and that’s okay. You read the same book, but you never read it the same way. As Charles Chu noted, “I always return home to the same few authors. And, no matter how many times I return, I always find they have something new to say.” 6But he also found that it is possible to work through these symptoms and find fulfillment and love on the other side. In Whole Again, he shares insights and tools for working through the protective self we’ve developed, so that we can finally move on to live a full and authentic life–to once again feel light, free, whole, and ready to give and receive love. Thendral Veesi Vara Vendum is a short story by Ramanichandran. The protagonist, Venugopala Menon tries to live his life as an ordinary person but it doesn’t work out for him. He gets caught up in the world of crime and violence because he was not able to find another way to live.” Tara Brach and many other Buddhists teach a great mindfulness method called R.A.I.N., which stands for “recognize, allow, investigate, and nonidentification.” These steps allow you to recognize when a new uncomfortable emotion is experienced, and allow that emotion to be experienced (rather than trying to make it go away). The more time you spend investigating it with kindness, the more in tune you become with your body, rather than constantly splitting onto a different wavelength. It doesn’t feel good, but that is okay, because you are able to start un-identifying with it. Yes, it is real, but it is not necessarily true. The problem with shame is that we have absorbed incorrect conclusions about ourselves, based on the past actions or reactions of a trusted loved one. These conclusions tend to be quite intense and persistent, with a nagging voice that they are the ultimate truth, and anything else we tell ourselves is just a lie to make ourselves feel better.