Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir

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When his kestrel becomes ill and dies, the world loses meaning and the loss without perspective is magnified: ‘I didn’t fit in so I didn’t mix in.’

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir by Chris Packham Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir by Chris Packham

His writing style challenges the conventions of memoir writing, with sudden switching of point of view, a non-linear timeline, and the occasional 'stream of consciousness' narrative.The prose veers from lyrical, almost literary, to confusing passages, yet the result is convincing and entertaining on several levels. Here is an example extract: Chris decides that animals are easier to trust than people. He makes a nocturnal escape through his bedroom window, finds treasure up a tree and falls in love. If you are expecting a book of rather sweet wildlife tales from your favourite TV personality then this book may not be for you. This is a brave and powerful book. Who edited this book? Do they speak English and read other books? It's a stupid and facetious question, clearly nobody edited this book, it's a rank and steamy mess of adjectives and adverbs with no substance. Well, that's not true, there's some small substance there in the story of how the author (I think it was the author, I'm not certain) stole a baby kestrel from its nest and took it home to keep. That wasn't really the substance I was looking for though, on the face of it that's pretty horrific and the airy fairy waffle surrounding it doesn't exactly put it in any kind of context to alleviate the sense of a dirty sort of PETA-baiting larceny.

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar is an absorbing read that completely draws the reader in. Sadly, some of the material is unsuitable for younger readers (sexual content and strong language), which is a shame, as an edited version of this book would be perfect for studying in schools to help encourage tolerance and understanding toward those on the autistic spectrum. Many thanks to the publishers for my review copy. Chris begins his recollections as an introverted, unusual young boy, isolated by his obsessions and a loner at school. The writing is atrocious. There are compound words galore, often made up by the author. That's not always a bad thing, with a deft touch it's something that can add a lot to a book. It's not adding anything here though other than moments of unintentional hilarity. I was reading some of the book out loud so I wasn't the only one suffering, and it took me several minutes to get through the first sentence of one early chapter, because it began with the word "Upfalling" and I couldn't stop laughing. Chris concludes his painfully honest memoir. He is a confirmed outsider - almost overwhelmed - but determined to do things his way, on his terms. From his childhood roaming and searching for nature specimens and animals, his home life, torturous school days, teens and a fast forward to his sessions with a therapist where he discusses his suicide attempts.

Book review: Fingers In The Sparkle Jar: A Memoir by Chris Book review: Fingers In The Sparkle Jar: A Memoir by Chris

I am.’ He replied quietly, ‘I’m the enemy, my enemy. And I’m chasing myself and when I finally catch me I’m going to kill me.’ Unlike any memoir I've read; written as if it were at the same time a novel and a journal, it clearly was a deep source of catharsis. A profoundly exposing and emotional journey into Chris's childhood, detailing his obsession with wildlife and the growing distance he felt to other people, but concentrating on one summer that he shared with a beautiful Kestrel, a summer that would have a deep impact on his life. It is telling of his character that this book is so meticulously and beautifully honed, the language carefully considered and precisely arranged, as though it were a rare eggshell cosseted in cotton wool in a display cabinet.

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This is an autobiography. An alleged autobiography. It is written almost entirely in the third person. Think for a moment, if you will; have you ever read an autobiography written in the third person? No, you haven't, because it's an outrageously obnoxious way to write an autobiography. I have no doubt it's some sort of commentary on his autism and maybe it's even explained, I didn't get far enough to find that out, but it's still obnoxious. Just because there's a reason for you making your book annoying to read doesn't mean it's not annoying to read.