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Think of intimacy serum as a sort of special kind of fancy lube, except these days, plenty of lube companies are upgrading their products to also serve as body care with ingredients like squalane, coconut oil, and aloe vera. “If you have limited time, usea wipe to freshen up before engaging in a self massage with Beia's Body & Intimacy Serum to explore your body,” says Dr. Brito. “The goal is to focus on what body parts feel good to you so that you can teach your partner in the future.” 4. Create a relaxing environment. Sexting a partner is always fun, but have you ever tried sexting yourself? It’s like living out your own fantasy at your fingertips. Whether you simply hype yourself up or you pretend you’re interacting with a favorite celebrity or fictional character, sending/receiving naughty texts from your own imagination is the ultimate arousal booster. 19. Or, just s ext!

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Erika Lust is a total badass who makes feminist porn, aka porn in which women are the focus, and they actually look like they’re getting turned on and getting off. Some of her videos are subscription-based, but some are free. FWIW though: For porn to be ethical (like, everyone’s getting paid well and the safety standards are high), you’ll need to pay. Which is a good thing! It helps ensure more ethical porn is made. And if Lust’s stuff isn’t for you, there’s a wide variety of ethical, feminist porn out there, most of which focuses on sex from a female gaze and not the hetero male fantasy seen in the days of yore. Hiiiiighly recommend. 42. Take a hot shower and then walk around naked like you’re criminally hot...because you are. First and foremost, be kind to yourself. We know this is frustrating, but try to remember that you are not broken, and there’s nothing wrong with you for not being able to get turned on in a millisecond. Give yourself space to invite arousal in by taking the pressure off of yourself. Try repeating “You are not broken,” or “my body is beautiful,” out loud for a few rounds to help clear your mind and put you in a better, more positive headspace. 2. Practice being assertive IRL, so you can be assertive in the bedroom.Where would we be without vibrating panties? The classic sex toy is a favorite for a reason, and a really good item to have in your arsenal for those times when arousal doesn’t just happen. Murphy suggests wearing a pair when you’re out to dinner with your boo. Give them the remote and by the time you leave the restaurant, you’ll be aching for more.

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You’re already naked and you look super dope plus there’s water. Use really great-smelling bath stuff, put lotion on every single part of your body afterward, and just be with yourself. No texting, no distractions. Just sit with yourself in your awesome body and be present in it. 43. Take a crash course on pleasure.What’s sexier than you? Literally nothing! Remind yourself how ~hot~ you are, and turn yourself on in the most au naturel way imaginable. If it feels a lil strange, try concentrating on the physical features you love the most about yourself, like how shiny your hair is, how sparkling your eyes are, or how bomb that fresh manicure looks when it’s caressing your curves. 34. Or literally just put on some lingerie. Look, sometimes movie sex scenes are legit better than porn. Your fave steamy scene from that one movie that you’ve replayed over and over again? (You know exactly which one!) Cue her up! 11. Play with your nipples.