This book as made me incredibly assertive, REALLY spiked my confidence, lowered my anxiety, and even lessened my stuttering. And it goes away more and more every day. Some people prefer worksheets with lots of exercises while others learn better from reading examples and stories. Consider what is more helpful for you and seek out an assertiveness workbook that provides that kind of tool. You know how you learn best, so choose resources that support your learning style. whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in

I have the right to offer anything to anyone, any number of times (and they have the right to say no). I have the right to change my mind; I do not always need to be logical and consistent. You’re not responsible for other people’s feelings, wants, desires, and needs. You do not have to meet everyone’s needs. You don’t have to do everything that someone wants you to do. You don’t have to do anything that someone wants, if it is not right for you. You’re not responsible for meeting their needs–they are. You doing something for them is just one possible way for them to meet their needs. If you say no, then it’s their responsibility to find a different way." I have the right to say yes to having sex, to enjoy sex, and to pause during sex to have a conversation. In the first chapter, he tells you that his goal is for you to eventually see the term "Nice guy" and think of that as a terrible disgusting thing that you would never ever want to be. His goal was definitely accomplished by the end of that book. I was the biggest nice-guy/push-over that I knew. Everywhere. Work, school, relationships, you name it.

here's what this book is not: it isn't a miracle. it's not going to fix you or your life. it isn't an intellectual, research-filled data oriented book about psychology. it doesn't hold the secrets of the universe and it won't give you all the answers you're looking for. and it certainly isn't going to do all the work for you. If you want to be a person who is taken seriously and seen as a leader both in business and socially, you must learn how to communicate with a tone of certainty. The good news is it’s not that hard. You don’t have to become smarter, gain twenty years of experience, or achieve anything else first. You can just start doing it now. Speaking with certainty is just a pattern of voice tone and body language.

At first I was all up for it, going all in, but sorry to say, the feeling faded. I realized a thing or two about myself and others (credit to the book here), and in the end couldn't buy into to the concept. Don't get me wrong, the approach is good, just not enough. It's not that simple. I wish it was. (Reading Letters From A Stoic by Seneca, parallel to Not Nice, as I did, certainly didn't make things easier. Not at all! A great challenge though. I recommend it.)

Expert Reviews

People will always have something to say about you. Even if you are the nicest person on earth (nice people already know this!) Assertiveness is the act of behaving confidently and boldly without aggression. Assertive people are able to stand up for themselves and their needs, set boundaries and communicate exactly what they want. The Assertiveness Workbook:How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships Full Book Name: Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, and Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself I wanted to read a book that would help me relax a little bit better when I was tending to work I do for my businesses.

All those hangouts we did not want to attend and the amount of things we say yes to but secretly feel resentful about are mere signs that we are NOT GENUINE with our true needs and wants. I’m not for everybody. That simple insight lead to a profound sense of relief. I no longer needed to convince every person who came across me or my message that I was a good, worthy person. Some people would love what I was doing, and some would not. That’s OK; I’m not for everybody. Just thinking it or saying it out loud makes me smile. Try saying it out loud right now: “I’m not for everybody.” Isn’t it a relief?"There’s a solid takeaway here for people who take on too much responsibility for the feelings of others, but I wonder if the advice within is really all that healthy. It’s based on (lengthy) personal experiences and anecdotes. You certainly might still get a lot from the book just by asking yourself questions as you listen, but I have a genuine question: Is there a book that provides the same self-reflection without the cringe? I’d be interested in that book.

substitute for consulting with your physician or licensed mental health professional. All matters regarding I hear about your mom, and your brother, and your dad. I hear about everyone else and what they want. But I don’t hear much of you in the story. It’s like you’re a minor character, and your needs and wants don’t really count for much.”A good example is how kids just say what’s on their minds. They simply blurb stories mid way and start talking with enthusiasm about absolutely none-sense with no censorship nor concern about what you MIGHT think of them or their story! They just assume you will like it because they genuinely like it themselves.