The explosion of women's rugby on the global stage has matched the rise of Ruby's stellar career, as she has grown with the game from amateur to professional. In Straight Up Ruby looks herself in the eye, understanding that she can turn pain into purpose. It's time to be straight up.

As we wrap up lunch, one of the Accor managers comes to chat. It’s the school holidays and his two young boys are with him; Tui spends the next 15 minutes talking to them, showing them her World Cup medal. Tui's relatability and sense of humour have been on full display over the past 18 months and her star has shone to the point where she was at the centre of the advertising campaign for the Rugby World Cup, inviting the world to a family reunion in Aotearoa. I loved her being there. We hung out there in the basement and I’d just want to be with her all the time, whatever she was doing. Lesh, like me, wanted happy families, but it was never that simple with our dad. Rugby has been a saviour and a metaphor in her life, giving her a sense of purpose – at the centre of it all, the quest to help one another: team spirit and camaraderie.

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After a childhood filled with neglect Ruby yearned for another path. Determined not to let her upbringing limit her, she survived abuse, drugs and tragedy to become one of the most successful women's rugby players in the world. Ruby Tui is a professional rugby player and a bestselling author. She won an Olympic gold medal in 2021, an Olympic silver medal in 2016, a Rugby World Cup Sevens title in 2018 and a Rugby World Cup title in 2022. I meant it. His sevens brain was special. Then he said the thing that changed my whole world: “You know the head coach is leaving.” People often comment on how they love to watch us because of our obvious closeness as a team, and the joy we have towards our game and each other. What you’re seeing is real, but not simple. We’ve built that through having tough times, through not being afraid of honesty — whether giving or receiving. We’re all different people, but what you’re seeing is the team culture that we’ve built, and that’s a real thing.

So Lesh took me to Glassons and bought me a top — a white, fleecy top and a matching white belt. Matching! I felt so cool. I looked real funky. Tui moved to Christchurch after high school to study, with dreams of becoming a professional netball player for the Silver Ferns. But getting to netball training across the city cost money she did not have. I cried a lot while reading this book, but there’s a passage early on in Straight Up about reading and the value of books, that gets me every time: “Every single night [Mum] buried herself in a book when she got into bed, and it made me look up to reading, and that’s the reason I am still a reader. I got Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone one Christmas, and it was just the best to have my very own novel to read.” I can imagine many a lonely child, adults too, thinking of Tui’s’ book in the same way. What a gift.She’s spoken to some players who think they have given up too early; others perhaps held on for too long. Her memoir Straight Up was the bestselling book in New Zealand in 2022, and Ruby's brilliant rugby skills and amazing personality won the hearts of New Zealanders, culminating in her shortlisting for the New Zealander of the Year. Leaving the relationship meant Tui’s mother could put down roots, and for the first time Tui stayed in one school and finished out her high school years, allowing her to throw herself into “every sport under the sun”. Does rugby need more personalities? I believe it needs more support. In New Zealand, it was only in 1995 when men’s rugby went professional. Prior to that, the boys were similar to us. They are really scrutinised by the media and have learnt the hard way. I don’t think it’s wise of us as women coming through to disregard the learnings they’ve had. It’s about not losing sight of who we are, but still remembering we have a responsibility to be role models. That’s what we’ve got to remember: not to pretend to be something we’re not or be all zipped up and private – but role models.” And so therefore, I do feel a responsibility that the next choice I make is in support of people who see that and understand that.”