What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks—I'll never part with it.

Funny Willy Wonka Quotes

Willy Wonka, chapter 18, 'Down The Chocolate River', 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory', 1964. The Best 'Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory' Quotes Willy Wonka, chapter 17, 'Augustus Gloop Goes Up The Pipe', ' Charlie And The Chocolate Factory', 1964.

Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!" Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn't a poached egg unless it's been stolen from the woods in the dead of night!" A bear walks into a restaurant. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled… cheese." The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" "Whaddya mean?" the bear replies. "I'm a bear!"

Willy Wonka: Try some more. The strawberries taste like strawberries, and the snozzberries taste like snozzberries. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."