We get very excited in the run-up to Christmas at Beano and nothing says festive fun like these seriously funny Santa jokes – and we know Yule love them too! A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals. Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.” The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that he’s had the same dream, too. The guy in the middle says, “Wow that’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing.”

Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? The doctors say it was due to too many strokes. Funny guys are dangerous. They make you laugh, then make you laugh again and again. When you’re done laughing, boom… You’re naked! When is it okay to beat up a dwarf? When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. 101 Clean Jokes for the Nice and Wholesome Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said, "Wow, it's pretty hot in here." The other one shouted, "Wow, a talking muffin!"And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. In my family, we have a joke contest for Christmas. We started some years ago and that is why I started collecting jokes… Now I am sharing them here. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face. Boss, I followed your advice, and I feel great! I’ll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!" I'm not a fan of spring cleaning. Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. Humor is widely seen as important in interpersonal relationships, but among leaders, it is seen as a helpful act. While some leaders use humor naturally, many others can use it for good. So here are some seriously funny jokes for you! How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes.What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? This is what happens when thousands of people come together and share their funniest short jokes. I will never forget some of these, and you better believe my friends are hearing them. So. Funny. I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. I wonder how many people are in that field.

Did you know that a Rubik’s Cube has something in common with a p*nis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. If you’re enjoying this article, you might also love A better way to communicate: Create stunning infographics with PosterMyWall When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking. People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about – it’s been collecting dirt on you for years. What does one saggy b**b say to the other saggy b**b? If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I will eat later.

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Some might even make your eyes roll. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! Why should you never ask a dinosaur to read a story if you are in a hurry? Their tales are too long. Humor and humor are associated with status and power. Humor really helps individuals to be effective in any way possible, wherever they are. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other's a little lighter.Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan." A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.