The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

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With a healthy dose of sanity, Philippa Perry's compassionate advice could help you become a happier, wiser person.

Being kind does not mean you don’t share your feelings when you are angry. What it does mean is explaining how you feel and why but without blaming or insulting the other person.” All this mirroring and validating of feelings that I’m doing – wouldn’t it be great if the parents did it themselves?’: Philippa Perry. Photograph: Pal Hansen/The Observer Jadi penyintas dari relasi toksik memaksaku untuk menjadi "chain breaker." Hidup dalam keadaan yang tidak sehat bukanlah sesuatu yang pernah aku bayangkan. Agar aku tidak mewariskan hal itu, maka aku harus belajar bagaimana berdamai/menyelesaikan "my childhood issue." All behaviour is communication,” nods Perry. The whining child may simply be confused by change. When their daughter was little, Perry would take her swimming every week. One week, Grayson took Flo instead, and the experience was so different for the child in so many ways that, when he accidentally went to go up the wrong staircase, she just sat on the floor, and said: “No.” “We only figured out why because I’m a psychotherapist,” Perry adds. Aku sesungguhnya sudah tidak antusias dengan kehadiran Big Bad Wolf Indonesia. Ketika acara tersebut masih dihelat di ICE BSD, aku bahkan tidak menyempatkan diri untuk datang. Hingga akhirnya aku terpancing juga untuk melihat koleksi yang mereka tawarkan secara virtual melalui Tokopedia. Dari beragam buku non-fiksi, aku tidak menyangka akan menemukan buku ini. Serial The School of Life yang kerap aku lihat di rak Kinokuniya Plaza Senayan ternyata ada di BBW.I worry...about what might happen to our minds if most of the stories we hear are about greed, war and atrocity. For this reason I recommend not watching too much television. Research exists that shows that people who watch television for more than four hours a day believe that they are far more likely to be involved in a violent incident in the forthcoming week than do those who watch television for less than two hours per day. This has genuinely had such a positive impact on my life and my relationship with my daughter' Josh Widdicombe I think an overlooked part of success is that it takes a lot of work. It might have been nice if he could have had a bit more time to hang out, but at the same time, he made his hobby his job.

She writes with an inquisitive elegance rarely found in parenting guides ... it is forgiving and persuasive' Hadley Freeman, the GuardianI tell Perry I wish my parents had had this philosophy. They had never experienced bullying and just laughed it off when I told them.

When we become more sensitive towards ourselves and more knowledgeable about our own feelings, we are more able to attune to, and empathize with, the feelings of other people. In short, self-awareness improves our relationships. It is important to support your children in learning these qualities, but Perry also suggests that you should employ these qualities when handling situations with your children. I think that's a great way to approach things. Being in my mid 20s sometimes made me realized that “I am not supposed to be treated this way” by my parents. It’s a fact that I find it hard to accept, since I have been seeing them as a perfect pair. I always believed that I should’ve been grateful for all the supports they have provided, and the endless love I never have to wonder. Many of us work hard at being seen to be doing the right thing – doing things for our CV rather than for satisfaction in the present. If we are in the position where we can choose what sort of work we are going to do, it is important that we like how we feel when we involve ourselves in the work. That, I think, is more significant than merely liking the idea of the work. It should be satisfying not merely because it looks good to you and others, but because it feels good, too.Plato compares the soul to a chariot being pulled by two horses. The driver is Reason, one horse is Spirit, the horse is Appetite. Controlling and maintaining the balance of your mental being is the focus of this book which is fulfilled by examining the four following areas: In The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad that You Did), renowned psychotherapist Philippa Perry shows how strong and loving bonds are made with your children and how such attachments give a better chance of good mental health, in childhood and beyond. I found my mum’s work as a psychotherapist interesting, but again, I also saw the downsides: taking on everyone else’s pain and having people rely so much on you. I wanted
a job I didn’t have to take home, one that didn’t define my life.

It’s hard to write about your own family life because, however you grow up, that’s what is normal to you. So I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a non-transvestite dad with a 9-to-5 office job. Buku ini terdiri dari 4 bab yang saling berhubungan: Self-Observation, Relationship, Stress, dan What's the Story. Dari masing-masing bab, pembaca diajak untuk "duduk" sejenak dengan dirinya sendiri. Maka dari itu, buku ini dimulai dengan pembahasan mengenai observasi mandiri terhadap diri kita. Yang apabila kita berhasil melakukan praktiknya (meskipun perlahan dan melalui tahapan), maka kita bisa mulai merawat hubungan kita dengan orang lain. Ujungnya, kita bisa menuturkan cerita yang optimis tentang diri kita sendiri. Tidak pesimis dan tidak menyalahkan lingkungan. Less than we used to. The great thing about getting old is I don’t want to be at it the whole time. This frees up television-watching opportunities. Many experiments have been done which illustrate that old people are generally more content than younger people. We are more content because as we begin to get closer to the end of our life, we don’t focus as much on the future as we do when we are young and have so much future ahead to think about. We live in the present and make the most out of every day, because we know those days are limited. This is a lesson for all of us, to live more in the present moment, rather than in what has already happened or has yet to happen. The following chapters went downhill. Perry starts with pregnancy and goes through from babyhood to adulthood with her parenting advice. Much of this has already been published by other authors and there isn't much new advice here. As I have already read other books and articles about parenting (covering topics like being responsive to your baby, validating your child's feelings, etc) I felt like I had read it all before. Perry's writing style is weak and uncaptivating compared to other parenting books.

However, I will admit that I couldn't shake off the knowledge of who the author is married to while reading the book. That biographical fact was introduced in first lines of the book, probably as a selling point, but in my opinion, it did a disservice to authors own standing as a talented independent writer with her own thoughts and knowledge to share. Philippa Perry is psychotherapist and in this book she offers some pragmatic insight on observing one's attitude, reactions or thought process. She argues that there are four cornerstones to being sane, to being conscious. Self-observation is one, other being your relationship with others (Man is a social being ~ Seneca), the Good Stress & our own perspective. Aku pribadi belajar banyak sekali dari buku ini. Alasannya sederhana. I want to treat my partner (& people around me) better. Apa yg ditulis oleh Perry dengan "children", aku ubah menjadi "partner." Membayangkan bagaimana menjadi individu yang merupakan "emotional container", suportif, & menerapkan "rupture & repair." Menjadi manusia yg hangat & tidak menyakiti orang lain. Memutus rantai kekerasan (verbal dan/atau fisik).