Personally, I’m ok with reading the details even though I at one point had a suicide plan that shared these details. I think the specifics have more value when they are relatable to my story, and I’m not triggered by it. Is that a cheater thing or a guy thing? I’ve always been terrified of STD, but xH never seemed to care. Such a senseless horrific tragedy and they just skip off into the sunset of blissful love 4 MONTHS later?! How the hell do they sleep at night? WTF?! That is just truly horrible. How can they both not feel responsible for what happened? I wish they would, I would wish it would torture them for the rest of their lives, but it won’t. Emotionally, he was EXTREMELY high maintenance. If I didn’t tell him EVERY DAY how smart, wonderful, and amazing he was, he pouted. We waited 11 years to have kids (to get him through grad school and post doc), but he left 100% of the parenting to me, and then became jealous by the amount of time and energy I spent on the children (because I had NO HELP).

Over on Ask Amy, on washingtonpost.com, I am one of the few who is telling a “friend” to SPEAK UP about cheating she blatantly witnessed. It’s a real Switzerland over there, and so awful. These days, OW’s doing her post doc at a top university on the OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. Because nothing says, “I love you” like moving 3,000 miles away to put career before “true love.” It also gives her plenty of time and space to dazzle her way to the next step of her “career” and seduce more bylines, chapters, and who knows what out of the next old man, flattered by the attentions of a beautiful young woman…The writer seems to be getting something out of being close to this tragic situation. Maybe she is replaying her own trauma of being left be buddying up with the cheater this time, hoping to replay this situation and be the powerful one. Only this story took a tragic end and S died, while she covertly participated in the abuse by being L’s emotional support. Enabler may be a better term.

Thanks for putting words in my mouth, I totally appreciate you making up lies about me calling people facists. If the situation was reversed, if you were having the affair, would HE be okay with you working with OM? Absolutely not! He’d probably do what Richard Gere did in “Unfaithful”– kill OM and hide the body. I know I toyed with the idea more than once…What actually happened was that she woke up in such agony that she herself called the ambulance. I don’t know her current situation but I do know she’s still alive and appears fully functional. Schrodinger’s Chump: Your request is polite, respectful, and humble. You did nothing wrong. The big argument afterward is not your fault.

If anyone out there is in such despair from this to consider suicide… please use the resources listed earlier and know it really does get better!!! My daughter was only 16 she and her friend were dating twin boys. Her friend began parting a lot and cheating on the boyfriend. She wouldn’t straighten up Also the thought of the owhore waltzing into my life, taking my home and little one. I’m sure FW and OW would have loved that This is not about making cheating consequences more palatable, but about being sensitive to research about what the effects of suicide reporting might be. Infidelity is a choice. People cheat because they feel entitled to cheat. That’s it. That’s my simple answer to the painful question of why. I don’t believe people cheat because they’re broken, or they have family of origin issues, or because of the staggering powers of Facebook crushes. I don’t believe people cheat because of midlife crises, which descend on former church deacons like a toxic cloud of musk cologne. I don’t believe people cheat because of perimenopause.”I meant no disrespect by my comment; I was only telling my own experience about becoming suicidal enough to be hospitalized in one day. You know how Voldemort in those first Harry Potter films what referred to as “He who shall remain nameless”?