He tells himself his partner “deserves it”, or he convinces himself that his relationship is dead. It often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as he withdraws more and more from his relationship. The Stages of Revelations

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But here are a few signs that you are entering stage 2 and that relationship is morphing into an emotional affair: Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1986). Assessing the role of emotion in marriage. Behavioral Assessment. The signs are indicative and there is no surefire way to tell that someone is having an affair. Some people are very, very good at lying and compartmentalizing lives. We the People With Judge Lauren Lake: Faithful Fraud & Mama Breaks and Enters (The CW Friday November 3, 2023)

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Some cannot constrain their deluge of questions, and the interrogation often leaves both exhausted. Trust is an obvious issue and is vital to regain. But if both partners are committed to reconciling the marriage, or at least to try, then seeing a couples therapist together is most helpful. Individual therapy doesn’t help regain this trust and may only make healing more complicated. Enough secrets have been kept. Even if Jennifer is talking about the love she had for Anthony, it’s important that Sam regain his role as confidante, and it’s even more important that Jennifer be completely transparent about what happened. In this stage, you explore the deeper meaning of what the affair meant and what are the weaknesses of your relationship. Drs. John and Julie Gottman teach that talking about the context of the marriage doesn’t belong in the “Atonement” process, but belongs in the second “Attunement” phase of treatment. This may be easier said than done. I’ve found that as long as distinctions are being made, and very clear boundaries are formed—that nothing happened in the marriage to cause the betrayer to betray—that both can be discussed. However, it’s far better to keep them clear from one another, if possible. Give structure to communication about the affair Learning new skills of communicating about conflict, rebuilding trust, rekindling physical and sexual connection, giving time and attention to how the problems have affected the children or other family members. All of that can happen with time and energy.

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Women tend to detach from the relationship before the affair begins. Men tend to detach after the affair has begun. Sexual DesignationPartners who didn’t expect it can experience feelings of unreality, as if they were disconnecting from the world. #1. Numbness They had little emotional bonds in them! When a relationship has little emotional intimacy between the partners, then it’s only normal that one partner will fall hard for a new partner that provides that emotional aspect that they are missing. The Verdict With Judge Hatchett: Sofa Swap & Not So Guardian Angel (Justice Central Friday November 3, 2023)